Induction

Scene I

Before an alehouse on a heath

Enter Hostess and Sly

Sly

I’ll pheeze you, in faith.

Hostess

A pair of stocks, you rogue!

Sly

Y’are a baggage; the Slys are no rogues. Look in the chronicles: we came in with Richard Conqueror. Therefore, paucas pallabris; let the world slide. Sessa!

Hostess

You will not pay for the glasses you have burst?

Sly

No, not a denier. Go by, Saint Jeronimy, go to thy cold bed and warm thee.

Hostess

I know my remedy; I must go fetch the third-borough.

Exit

Sly

Third, or fourth, or fifth borough, I’ll answer him by law.

I’ll not budge an inch, boy; let him come, and kindly. [Falls asleep]

Wind horns. Enter a Lord from bunting, with his train

Lord

Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my hounds;

Brach Merriman, the poor cur, is emboss’d;

And couple Clowder with the deep-mouth’d brach.

Saw’st thou not, boy, how Silver made it good

At the hedge corner, in the coldest fault?

I would not lose the dog for twenty pound.

First Huntsman

Why, Belman is as good as he, my lord;

He cried upon it at the merest loss,

And twice to-day pick’d out the dullest scent;

Trust me, I take him for the better dog.

Lord

Thou art a fool; if Echo were as fleet,

I would esteem him worth a dozen such.

But sup them well, and look unto them all;

To-morrow I intend to hunt again.

First Huntsman

I will, my lord.

Lord

What’s here? One dead, or drunk?

See, doth he breathe?

Second Huntsman

He breathes, my lord. Were he not warm’d with ale,

This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly.

Lord

O monstrous beast, how like a swine he lies!

Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thine image!

Sirs, I will practise on this drunken man.

What think you, if he were convey’d to bed,

Wrapp’d in sweet clothes, rings put upon his fingers,

A most delicious banquet by his bed,

And brave attendants near him when he wakes,

Would not the beggar then forget himself?

First Huntsman

Believe me, lord, I think he cannot choose.

Second Huntsman

It would seem strange unto him when he wak’d.

Lord

Even as a flatt’ring dream or worthless fancy.

Then take him up, and manage well the jest:

Carry him gently to my fairest chamber,

And hang it round with all my wanton pictures;

Balm his foul head in warm distilled waters,

And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet;

Procure me music ready when he wakes,

To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound;

And if he chance to speak, be ready straight,

And with a low submissive reverence

Say ‘What is it your honour will command?’

Let one attend him with a silver basin

Full of rose-water and bestrew’d with flowers;

Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper,

And say ‘Will’t please your lordship cool your hands?’

Some one be ready with a costly suit,

And ask him what apparel he will wear;

Another tell him of his hounds and horse,

And that his lady mourns at his disease;

Persuade him that he hath been lunatic,

And, when he says he is, say that he dreams,

For he is nothing but a mighty lord.

This do, and do it kindly, gentle sirs;

It will be pastime passing excellent,

If it be husbanded with modesty.

First Huntsman

My lord, I warrant you we will play our part

As he shall think by our true diligence

He is no less than what we say he is.

Lord

Take him up gently, and to bed with him;

And each one to his office when he wakes. [Sly is carried out. A trumpet sounds]

Sirrah, go see what trumpet ‘tis that sounds-

Exit Servant

Belike some noble gentleman that means,

Travelling some journey, to repose him here.

Re-enter a Servingman

How now! who is it?

Servant

An’t please your honour, players

That offer service to your lordship.

Lord

Bid them come near.

Enter Players

Now, fellows, you are welcome.

Players

We thank your honour.

Lord

Do you intend to stay with me to-night?

Player

So please your lordship to accept our duty.

Lord

With all my heart. This fellow I remember

Since once he play’d a farmer’s eldest son;

‘Twas where you woo’d the gentlewoman so well.

I have forgot your name; but, sure, that part

Was aptly fitted and naturally perform’d.

Player

I think ‘twas Soto that your honour means.

Lord

‘Tis very true; thou didst it excellent.

Well, you are come to me in happy time,

The rather for I have some sport in hand

Wherein your cunning can assist me much.

There is a lord will hear you play to-night;

But I am doubtful of your modesties,

Lest, over-eying of his odd behaviour,

For yet his honour never heard a play,

You break into some merry passion

And so offend him; for I tell you, sirs,

If you should smile, he grows impatient.

Player

Fear not, my lord; we can contain ourselves,

Were he the veriest antic in the world.

Lord

Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery,

And give them friendly welcome every one;

Let them want nothing that my house affords.

Exit one with the Players

Sirrah, go you to Bartholomew my page,

And see him dress’d in all suits like a lady;

That done, conduct him to the drunkard’s chamber,

And call him ‘madam,’ do him obeisance.

Tell him from me- as he will win my love-

He bear himself with honourable action,

Such as he hath observ’d in noble ladies

Unto their lords, by them accomplished;

Such duty to the drunkard let him do,

With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy,

And say ‘What is’t your honour will command,

Wherein your lady and your humble wife

May show her duty and make known her love?’

And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses,

And with declining head into his bosom,

Bid him shed tears, as being overjoyed

To see her noble lord restor’d to health,

Who for this seven years hath esteemed him

No better than a poor and loathsome beggar.

And if the boy have not a woman’s gift

To rain a shower of commanded tears,

An onion will do well for such a shift,

Which, in a napkin being close convey’d,

Shall in despite enforce a watery eye.

See this dispatch’d with all the haste thou canst;

Anon I’ll give thee more instructions.

Exit a Servingman

I know the boy will well usurp the grace,

Voice, gait, and action, of a gentlewoman;

I long to hear him call the drunkard ‘husband’;

And how my men will stay themselves from laughter

When they do homage to this simple peasant.

I’ll in to counsel them; haply my presence

May well abate the over-merry spleen,

Which otherwise would grow into extremes.

Exeunt

Scene II

A bedchamber in the Lord’s house

Enter aloft Sly, with Attendants; some with apparel, basin and ewer, and other appurtenances; and Lord

Sly

For God’s sake, a pot of small ale.

First Servant

Will’t please your lordship drink a cup of sack?

Second Servant

Will’t please your honour taste of these conserves?

Third Servant

What raiment will your honour wear to-day?

Sly

I am Christophero Sly; call not me ‘honour’ nor ‘lordship.’ I ne’er drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef. Ne’er ask me what raiment I’ll wear, for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet- nay, sometime more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the overleather.

Lord

Heaven cease this idle humour in your honour!

O, that a mighty man of such descent,

Of such possessions, and so high esteem,

Should be infused with so foul a spirit!

Sly

What, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly’s son of Burton Heath; by birth a pedlar, by education a cardmaker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not; if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lying’st knave in

Christendom. What! I am not bestraught. [Taking a pot of ale] Here’s-

Third Servant

O, this it is that makes your lady mourn!

Second Servant

O, this is it that makes your servants droop!

Lord

Hence comes it that your kindred shuns your house,

As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.

O noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth!

Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment,

And banish hence these abject lowly dreams.

Look how thy servants do attend on thee,

Each in his office ready at thy beck.

Wilt thou have music? Hark! Apollo plays, [Music]

And twenty caged nightingales do sing.

Or wilt thou sleep? We’ll have thee to a couch

Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed

On purpose trimm’d up for Semiramis.

Say thou wilt walk: we will bestrew the ground.

Or wilt thou ride? Thy horses shall be trapp’d,

Their harness studded all with gold and pearl.

Dost thou love hawking? Thou hast hawks will soar

Above the morning lark. Or wilt thou hunt?

Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them

And fetch shall echoes from the hollow earth.

First Servant

Say thou wilt course; thy greyhounds are as swift

As breathed stags; ay, fleeter than the roe.

Second Servant

Dost thou love pictures? We will fetch thee straight

Adonis painted by a running brook,

And Cytherea all in sedges hid,

Which seem to move and wanton with her breath

Even as the waving sedges play wi’ th’ wind.

Lord

We’ll show thee lo as she was a maid

And how she was beguiled and surpris’d,

As lively painted as the deed was done.

Third Servant

Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood,

Scratching her legs, that one shall swear she bleeds

And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,

So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.

Lord

Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord.

Thou hast a lady far more beautiful

Than any woman in this waning age.

First Servant

And, till the tears that she hath shed for thee

Like envious floods o’er-run her lovely face,

She was the fairest creature in the world;

And yet she is inferior to none.

Sly

Am I a lord and have I such a lady?

Or do I dream? Or have I dream’d till now?

I do not sleep: I see, I hear, I speak;

I smell sweet savours, and I feel soft things.

Upon my life, I am a lord indeed,

And not a tinker, nor Christopher Sly.

Well, bring our lady hither to our sight;

And once again, a pot o’ th’ smallest ale.

Second Servant

Will’t please your Mightiness to wash your hands?

O, how we joy to see your wit restor’d!

O, that once more you knew but what you are!

These fifteen years you have been in a dream;

Or, when you wak’d, so wak’d as if you slept.

Sly

These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap.

But did I never speak of all that time?

First Servant

O, yes, my lord, but very idle words;

For though you lay here in this goodly chamber,

Yet would you say ye were beaten out of door;

And rail upon the hostess of the house,

And say you would present her at the leet,

Because she brought stone jugs and no seal’d quarts.

Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket.

Sly

Ay, the woman’s maid of the house.

Third Servant

Why, sir, you know no house nor no such maid,

Nor no such men as you have reckon’d up,

As Stephen Sly, and old John Naps of Greece,

And Peter Turph, and Henry Pimpernell;

And twenty more such names and men as these,

Which never were, nor no man ever saw.

Sly

Now, Lord be thanked for my good amends!

All

Amen.

Enter the Page as a lady, with Attendants

Sly

I thank thee; thou shalt not lose by it.

Page

How fares my noble lord?

Sly

Marry, I fare well; for here is cheer enough.

Where is my wife?

Page

Here, noble lord; what is thy will with her?

Sly

Are you my wife, and will not call me husband?

My men should call me ‘lord’; I am your goodman.

Page

My husband and my lord, my lord and husband;

I am your wife in all obedience.

Sly

I know it well. What must I call her?

Lord

Madam.

Sly

Al’ce madam, or Joan madam?

Lord

Madam, and nothing else; so lords call ladies.

Sly

Madam wife, they say that I have dream’d

And slept above some fifteen year or more.

Page

Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me,

Being all this time abandon’d from your bed.

Sly

‘Tis much. Servants, leave me and her alone.

Exeunt Servants

Madam, undress you, and come now to bed.

Page

Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of you

To pardon me yet for a night or two;

Or, if not so, until the sun be set.

For your physicians have expressly charg’d,

In peril to incur your former malady,

That I should yet absent me from your bed.

I hope this reason stands for my excuse.

Sly

Ay, it stands so that I may hardly tarry so long. But I would be loath to fall into my dreams again. I will therefore tarry in despite of the flesh and the blood.

Enter a Messenger

Messenger

Your honour’s players, hearing your amendment,

Are come to play a pleasant comedy;

For so your doctors hold it very meet,

Seeing too much sadness hath congeal’d your blood,

And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy.

Therefore they thought it good you hear a play

And frame your mind to mirth and merriment,

Which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.

Sly

Marry, I will; let them play it. Is not a comonty a

Christmas gambold or a tumbling-trick?

Page

No, my good lord, it is more pleasing stuff.

Sly

What, household stuff?

Page

It is a kind of history.

Sly

Well, we’ll see’t. Come, madam wife, sit by my side and let the world slip;-we shall ne’er be younger. [They sit down]

A flourish of trumpets announces the play

Act I

Scene I

Padua. A public place

Enter Lucentio and his man Tranio

Lucentio

Tranio, since for the great desire I had

To see fair Padua, nursery of arts,

I am arriv’d for fruitful Lombardy,

The pleasant garden of great Italy,

And by my father’s love and leave am arm’d

With his good will and thy good company,

My trusty servant well approv’d in all,

Here let us breathe, and haply institute

A course of learning and ingenious studies.

Pisa, renowned for grave citizens,

Gave me my being and my father first,

A merchant of great traffic through the world,

Vincentio, come of the BentivolII;

Vincentio’s son, brought up in Florence,

It shall become to serve all hopes conceiv’d,

To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds.

And therefore, Tranio, for the time I study,

Virtue and that part of philosophy

Will I apply that treats of happiness

By virtue specially to be achiev’d.

Tell me thy mind; for I have Pisa left

And am to Padua come as he that leaves

A shallow plash to plunge him in the deep,

And with satiety seeks to quench his thirst.

Tranio

Mi perdonato, gentle master mine;

I am in all affected as yourself;

Glad that you thus continue your resolve

To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy.

Only, good master, while we do admire

This virtue and this moral discipline,

Let’s be no Stoics nor no stocks, I pray,

Or so devote to Aristotle’s checks

As Ovid be an outcast quite abjur’d.

Balk logic with acquaintance that you have,

And practise rhetoric in your common talk;

Music and poesy use to quicken you;

The mathematics and the metaphysics,

Fall to them as you find your stomach serves you.

No profit grows where is no pleasure ta’en;

In brief, sir, study what you most affect.

Lucentio

Gramercies, Tranio, well dost thou advise.

If, Biondello, thou wert come ashore,

We could at once put us in readiness,

And take a lodging fit to entertain

Such friends as time in Padua shall beget.

Enter Baptista with his two daughters, Katherina and Bianca; Gremio, a pantaloon; Hortensio, suitor to Bianca. Lucentio and Tranio stand by

But stay awhile; what company is this?

Tranio

Master, some show to welcome us to town.

Baptista

Gentlemen, importune me no farther,

For how I firmly am resolv’d you know;

That is, not to bestow my youngest daughter

Before I have a husband for the elder.

If either of you both love Katherina,

Because I know you well and love you well,

Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure.

Gremio

To cart her rather. She’s too rough for me.

There, there, Hortensio, will you any wife?

Katherina

[To Baptista] I pray you, sir, is it your will

To make a stale of me amongst these mates?

Hortensio

Mates, maid! How mean you that? No mates for you,

Unless you were of gentler, milder mould.

Katherina

I’ faith, sir, you shall never need to fear;

Iwis it is not halfway to her heart;

But if it were, doubt not her care should be

To comb your noddle with a three-legg’d stool,

And paint your face, and use you like a fool.

Hortensio

From all such devils, good Lord deliver us!

Gremio

And me, too, good Lord!

Tranio

Husht, master! Here’s some good pastime toward;

That wench is stark mad or wonderful froward.

Lucentio

But in the other’s silence do I see

Maid’s mild behaviour and sobriety.

Peace, Tranio!

Tranio

Well said, master; mum! and gaze your fill.

Baptista

Gentlemen, that I may soon make good

What I have said- Bianca, get you in;

And let it not displease thee, good Bianca,

For I will love thee ne’er the less, my girl.

Katherina

A pretty peat! it is best

Put finger in the eye, an she knew why.

Bianca

Sister, content you in my discontent.

Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe;

My books and instruments shall be my company,

On them to look, and practise by myself.

Lucentio

Hark, Tranio, thou mayst hear Minerva speak!

Hortensio

Signior Baptista, will you be so strange?

Sorry am I that our good will effects

Bianca’s grief.

Gremio

Why will you mew her up,

Signior Baptista, for this fiend of hell,

And make her bear the penance of her tongue?

Baptista

Gentlemen, content ye; I am resolv’d.

Go in, Bianca.

Exit Bianca

And for I know she taketh most delight

In music, instruments, and poetry,

Schoolmasters will I keep within my house

Fit to instruct her youth. If you, Hortensio,

Or, Signior Gremio, you, know any such,

Prefer them hither; for to cunning men

I will be very kind, and liberal

To mine own children in good bringing-up;

And so, farewell. Katherina, you may stay;

For I have more to commune with Bianca.

Exit

Katherina

Why, and I trust I may go too, may I not?

What! shall I be appointed hours, as though, belike,

I knew not what to take and what to leave? Ha!

Exit

Gremio

You may go to the devil’s dam; your gifts are so good here’s none will hold you. There! Love is not so great,

Hortensio, but we may blow our nails together, and fast it fairly out; our cake’s dough on both sides. Farewell; yet, for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit man to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father.

Hortensio

So Will I, Signior Gremio; but a word, I pray. Though the nature of our quarrel yet never brook’d parle, know now, upon advice, it toucheth us both- that we may yet again have access to our fair mistress, and be happy rivals in Bianca’s love- to labour and effect one thing specially.

Gremio

What’s that, I pray?

Hortensio

Marry, sir, to get a husband for her sister.

Gremio

A husband? a devil.

Hortensio

I say a husband.

Gremio

I say a devil. Think’st thou, Hortensio, though her father be very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to hell?

Hortensio

Tush, Gremio! Though it pass your patience and mine to endure her loud alarums, why, man, there be good fellows in the world, an a man could light on them, would take her with all faults, and money enough.

Gremio

I cannot tell; but I had as lief take her dowry with this condition: to be whipp’d at the high cross every morning.

Hortensio

Faith, as you say, there’s small choice in rotten apples. But, come; since this bar in law makes us friends, it shall be so far forth friendly maintain’d till by helping

Baptista’s eldest daughter to a husband we set his youngest free for a husband, and then have to’t afresh. Sweet Bianca! Happy man be his dole! He that runs fastest gets the ring. How say you, Signior Gremio?

Gremio

I am agreed; and would I had given him the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing that would thoroughly woo her, wed her, and bed her, and rid the house of her! Come on.

Exeunt Gremio and Hortensio

Tranio

I pray, sir, tell me, is it possible

That love should of a sudden take such hold?

Lucentio

O Tranio, till I found it to be true,

I never thought it possible or likely.

But see! while idly I stood looking on,

I found the effect of love in idleness;

And now in plainness do confess to thee,

That art to me as secret and as dear

As Anna to the Queen of Carthage was-

Tranio, I burn, I pine, I perish, Tranio,

If I achieve not this young modest girl.

Counsel me, Tranio, for I know thou canst;

Assist me, Tranio, for I know thou wilt.

Tranio

Master, it is no time to chide you now;

Affection is not rated from the heart;

If love have touch’d you, nought remains but so:

‘Redime te captum quam queas minimo.’

Lucentio

Gramercies, lad. Go forward; this contents;

The rest will comfort, for thy counsel’s sound.

Tranio

Master, you look’d so longly on the maid.

Perhaps you mark’d not what’s the pith of all.

Lucentio

O, yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face,

Such as the daughter of Agenor had,

That made great love to humble him to her hand,

When with his knees he kiss’d the Cretan strand.

Tranio

Saw you no more? Mark’d you not how her sister

Began to scold and raise up such a storm

That mortal ears might hardly endure the din?

Lucentio

Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move,

And with her breath she did perfume the air;

Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her.

Tranio

Nay, then ‘tis time to stir him from his trance.

I pray, awake, sir. If you love the maid,

Bend thoughts and wits to achieve her. Thus it stands:

Her elder sister is so curst and shrewd

That, till the father rid his hands of her,

Master, your love must live a maid at home;

And therefore has he closely mew’d her up,

Because she will not be annoy’d with suitors.

Lucentio

Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father’s he!

But art thou not advis’d he took some care

To get her cunning schoolmasters to instruct her?

Tranio

Ay, marry, am I, sir, and now ‘tis plotted.

Lucentio

I have it, Tranio.

Tranio

Master, for my hand,

Both our inventions meet and jump in one.

Lucentio

Tell me thine first.

Tranio

You will be schoolmaster,

And undertake the teaching of the maid-

That’s your device.

Lucentio

It is. May it be done?

Tranio

Not possible; for who shall bear your part

And be in Padua here Vincentio’s son;

Keep house and ply his book, welcome his friends,

Visit his countrymen, and banquet them?

Lucentio

Basta, content thee, for I have it full.

We have not yet been seen in any house,

Nor can we be distinguish’d by our faces

For man or master. Then it follows thus:

Thou shalt be master, Tranio, in my stead,

Keep house and port and servants, as I should;

I will some other be- some Florentine,

Some Neapolitan, or meaner man of Pisa.

‘Tis hatch’d, and shall be so. Tranio, at once

Uncase thee; take my colour’d hat and cloak.

When Biondello comes, he waits on thee;

But I will charm him first to keep his tongue.

Tranio

So had you need. [They exchange habits]

In brief, sir, sith it your pleasure is,

And I am tied to be obedient-

For so your father charg’d me at our parting:

‘Be serviceable to my son’ quoth he,

Although I think ‘twas in another sense-

I am content to be Lucentio,

Because so well I love Lucentio.

Lucentio

Tranio, be so because Lucentio loves;

And let me be a slave t’ achieve that maid

Whose sudden sight hath thrall’d my wounded eye.

Enter Biondello

Here comes the rogue. Sirrah, where have you been?

Biondello

Where have I been! Nay, how now! where are you?

Master, has my fellow Tranio stol’n your clothes?

Or you stol’n his? or both? Pray, what’s the news?

Lucentio

Sirrah, come hither; ‘tis no time to jest,

And therefore frame your manners to the time.

Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life,

Puts my apparel and my count’nance on,

And I for my escape have put on his;

For in a quarrel since I came ashore

I kill’d a man, and fear I was descried.

Wait you on him, I charge you, as becomes,

While I make way from hence to save my life.

You understand me?

Biondello

I, sir? Ne’er a whit.

Lucentio

And not a jot of Tranio in your mouth:

Tranio is chang’d into Lucentio.

Biondello

The better for him; would I were so too!

Tranio

So could I, faith, boy, to have the next wish after,

That Lucentio indeed had Baptista’s youngest daughter.

But, sirrah, not for my sake but your master’s, I advise

You use your manners discreetly in all kind of companies.

When I am alone, why, then I am Tranio;

But in all places else your master Lucentio.

Lucentio

Tranio, let’s go.

One thing more rests, that thyself execute-

To make one among these wooers. If thou ask me why-

Sufficeth, my reasons are both good and weighty.

Exeunt

The Presenters above speak

First Servant

My lord, you nod; you do not mind the play.

Sly

Yes, by Saint Anne do I. A good matter, surely; comes there any more of it?

Page

My lord, ‘tis but begun.

Sly

‘Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady

Would ‘twere done! [They sit and mark]

Scene II

Padua. Before Hortensio’s house

Enter Petruchio and his man Grumio

Petruchio

Verona, for a while I take my leave,

To see my friends in Padua; but of all

My best beloved and approved friend,

Hortensio; and I trow this is his house.

Here, sirrah Grumio, knock, I say.

Grumio

Knock, sir! Whom should I knock?

Is there any man has rebus’d your worship?

Petruchio

Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.

Grumio

Knock you here, sir? Why, sir, what am I, sir, that I should knock you here, sir?

Petruchio

Villain, I say, knock me at this gate,

And rap me well, or I’ll knock your knave’s pate.

Grumio

My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock you first,

And then I know after who comes by the worst.

Petruchio

Will it not be?

Faith, sirrah, an you’ll not knock I’ll ring it;

I’ll try how you can sol-fa, and sing it. [He wrings him by the ears]

Grumio

Help, masters, help! My master is mad.

Petruchio

Now knock when I bid you, sirrah villain!

Enter Hortensio

Hortensio

How now! what’s the matter? My old friend Grumio and my good friend Petruchio! How do you all at Verona?

Petruchio

Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray?

‘Con tutto il cuore ben trovato’ may I say.

Hortensio

Alla nostra casa ben venuto,

Molto honorato signor mio Petruchio.

Rise, Grumio, rise; we will compound this quarrel.

Grumio

Nay, ‘tis no matter, sir, what he ‘leges in Latin. If this be not a lawful cause for me to leave his service- look you, sir: he bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir. Well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so; being, perhaps, for aught I see, two and thirty, a pip out?

Whom would to God I had well knock’d at first,

Then had not Grumio come by the worst.

Petruchio

A senseless villain! Good Hortensio,

I bade the rascal knock upon your gate,

And could not get him for my heart to do it.

Grumio

Knock at the gate? O heavens! Spake you not these words plain: ‘Sirrah knock me here, rap me here, knock me well, and knock me soundly’? And come you now with ‘knocking at the gate’?

Petruchio

Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.

Hortensio

Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio’s pledge;

Why, this’s a heavy chance ‘twixt him and you,

Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.

And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale

Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?

Petruchio

Such wind as scatters young men through the world

To seek their fortunes farther than at home,

Where small experience grows. But in a few,

Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me:

Antonio, my father, is deceas’d,

And I have thrust myself into this maze,

Haply to wive and thrive as best I may;

Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home,

And so am come abroad to see the world.

Hortensio

Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee

And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favour’d wife?

Thou’dst thank me but a little for my counsel,

And yet I’ll promise thee she shall be rich,

And very rich; but th’art too much my friend,

And I’ll not wish thee to her.

Petruchio

Signior Hortensio, ‘twixt such friends as we

Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know

One rich enough to be Petruchio’s wife,

As wealth is burden of my wooing dance,

Be she as foul as was Florentius’ love,

As old as Sibyl, and as curst and shrewd

As Socrates’ Xanthippe or a worse-

She moves me not, or not removes, at least,

Affection’s edge in me, were she as rough

As are the swelling Adriatic seas.

I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;

If wealthily, then happily in Padua.

Grumio

Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is.

Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an aglet-baby, or an old trot with ne’er a tooth in her head, though she has as many diseases as two and fifty horses. Why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.

Hortensio

Petruchio, since we are stepp’d thus far in,

I will continue that I broach’d in jest.

I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife

With wealth enough, and young and beauteous;

Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman;

Her only fault, and that is faults enough,

Is- that she is intolerable curst,

And shrewd and froward so beyond all measure

That, were my state far worser than it is,

I would not wed her for a mine of gold.

Petruchio

Hortensio, peace! thou know’st not gold’s effect.

Tell me her father’s name, and ‘tis enough;

For I will board her though she chide as loud

As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.

Hortensio

Her father is Baptista Minola,

An affable and courteous gentleman;

Her name is Katherina Minola,

Renown’d in Padua for her scolding tongue.

Petruchio

I know her father, though I know not her;

And he knew my deceased father well.

I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her;

And therefore let me be thus bold with you

To give you over at this first encounter,

Unless you will accompany me thither.

Grumio

I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O’ my word, and she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him. She may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so. Why, that’s nothing; and he begin once, he’ll rail in his rope-tricks. I’ll tell you what, sir: an she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face, and so disfigure her with it that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. You know him not, sir.

Hortensio

Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee,

For in Baptista’s keep my treasure is.

He hath the jewel of my life in hold,

His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca;

And her withholds from me, and other more,

Suitors to her and rivals in my love;

Supposing it a thing impossible-

For those defects I have before rehears’d-

That ever Katherina will be woo’d.

Therefore this order hath Baptista ta’en,

That none shall have access unto Bianca

Till Katherine the curst have got a husband.

Grumio

Katherine the curst!

A title for a maid of all titles the worst.

Hortensio

Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace,

And offer me disguis’d in sober robes

To old Baptista as a schoolmaster

Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca;

That so I may by this device at least

Have leave and leisure to make love to her,

And unsuspected court her by herself.

Enter Gremio with Lucentio disguised as Cambio

Grumio

Here’s no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together! Master, master, look about you. Who goes there, ha?

Hortensio

Peace, Grumio! It is the rival of my love. Petruchio, stand by awhile.

Grumio

A proper stripling, and an amorous! [They stand aside]

Gremio

O, very well; I have perus’d the note.

Hark you, sir; I’ll have them very fairly bound-

All books of love, see that at any hand;

And see you read no other lectures to her.

You understand me- over and beside

Signior Baptista’s liberality,

I’ll mend it with a largess. Take your paper too,

And let me have them very well perfum’d;

For she is sweeter than perfume itself

To whom they go to. What will you read to her?

Lucentio

Whate’er I read to her, I’ll plead for you

As for my patron, stand you so assur’d,

As firmly as yourself were still in place;

Yea, and perhaps with more successful words

Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.

Gremio

O this learning, what a thing it is!

Grumio

O this woodcock, what an ass it is!

Petruchio

Peace, sirrah!

Hortensio

Grumio, mum! [Coming forward]

God save you, Signior Gremio!

Gremio

And you are well met, Signior Hortensio.

Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.

I promis’d to enquire carefully

About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca;

And by good fortune I have lighted well

On this young man; for learning and behaviour

Fit for her turn, well read in poetry

And other books- good ones, I warrant ye.

Hortensio

‘Tis well; and I have met a gentleman

Hath promis’d me to help me to another,

A fine musician to instruct our mistress;

So shall I no whit be behind in duty

To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.

Gremio

Beloved of me- and that my deeds shall prove.

Grumio

And that his bags shall prove.

Hortensio

Gremio, ‘tis now no time to vent our love.

Listen to me, and if you speak me fair

I’ll tell you news indifferent good for either.

Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,

Upon agreement from us to his liking,

Will undertake to woo curst Katherine;

Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.

Gremio

So said, so done, is well.

Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?

Petruchio

I know she is an irksome brawling scold;

If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.

Gremio

No, say’st me so, friend? What countryman?

Petruchio

Born in Verona, old Antonio’s son.

My father dead, my fortune lives for me;

And I do hope good days and long to see.

Gremio

O Sir, such a life with such a wife were strange!

But if you have a stomach, to’t a God’s name;

You shall have me assisting you in all.

But will you woo this wild-cat?

Petruchio

Will I live?

Grumio

Will he woo her? Ay, or I’ll hang her.

Petruchio

Why came I hither but to that intent?

Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?

Have I not in my time heard lions roar?

Have I not heard the sea, puff’d up with winds,

Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat?

Have I not heard great ordnance in the field,

And heaven’s artillery thunder in the skies?

Have I not in a pitched battle heard

Loud ‘larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets’ clang?

And do you tell me of a woman’s tongue,

That gives not half so great a blow to hear

As will a chestnut in a fariner’s fire?

Tush! tush! fear boys with bugs.

Grumio

For he fears none.

Gremio

Hortensio, hark:

This gentleman is happily arriv’d,

My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.

Hortensio

I promis’d we would be contributors

And bear his charge of wooing, whatsoe’er.

Gremio

And so we will- provided that he win her.

Grumio

I would I were as sure of a good dinner.

Enter Tranio, bravely apparelled as Lucentio, and Biondello

Tranio

Gentlemen, God save you! If I may be bold,

Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way

To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?

Biondello

He that has the two fair daughters; is’t he you mean?

Tranio

Even he, Biondello.

Gremio

Hark you, sir, you mean not her to-

Tranio

Perhaps him and her, sir; what have you to do?

Petruchio

Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.

Tranio

I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let’s away.

Lucentio

[Aside] Well begun, Tranio.

Hortensio

Sir, a word ere you go.

Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?

Tranio

And if I be, sir, is it any offence?

Gremio

No; if without more words you will get you hence.

Tranio

Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free

For me as for you?

Gremio

But so is not she.

Tranio

For what reason, I beseech you?

Gremio

For this reason, if you’ll know,

That she’s the choice love of Signior Gremio.

Hortensio

That she’s the chosen of Signior Hortensio.

Tranio

Softly, my masters! If you be gentlemen,

Do me this right- hear me with patience.

Baptista is a noble gentleman,

To whom my father is not all unknown,

And, were his daughter fairer than she is,

She may more suitors have, and me for one.

Fair Leda’s daughter had a thousand wooers;

Then well one more may fair Bianca have;

And so she shall: Lucentio shall make one,

Though Paris came in hope to speed alone.

Gremio

What, this gentleman will out-talk us all!

Lucentio

Sir, give him head; I know he’ll prove a jade.

Petruchio

Hortensio, to what end are all these words?

Hortensio

Sir, let me be so bold as ask you,

Did you yet ever see Baptista’s daughter?

Tranio

No, sir, but hear I do that he hath two:

The one as famous for a scolding tongue

As is the other for beauteous modesty.

Petruchio

Sir, sir, the first’s for me; let her go by.

Gremio

Yea, leave that labour to great Hercules,

And let it be more than Alcides’ twelve.

Petruchio

Sir, understand you this of me, in sooth:

The youngest daughter, whom you hearken for,

Her father keeps from all access of suitors,

And will not promise her to any man

Until the elder sister first be wed.

The younger then is free, and not before.

Tranio

If it be so, sir, that you are the man

Must stead us all, and me amongst the rest;

And if you break the ice, and do this feat,

Achieve the elder, set the younger free

For our access- whose hap shall be to have her

Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.

Hortensio

Sir, you say well, and well you do conceive;

And since you do profess to be a suitor,

You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman,

To whom we all rest generally beholding.

Tranio

Sir, I shall not be slack; in sign whereof,

Please ye we may contrive this afternoon,

And quaff carouses to our mistress’ health;

And do as adversaries do in law-

Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.

Grumio, Biondello

O excellent motion! Fellows, let’s be gone.

Hortensio

The motion’s good indeed, and be it so.

Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto.

Exeunt

Act II

Scene I

Padua. Baptista’s house

Enter Katherina and Bianca

Bianca

Good sister, wrong me not, nor wrong yourself,

To make a bondmaid and a slave of me-

That I disdain; but for these other gawds,

Unbind my hands, I’ll pull them off myself,

Yea, all my raiment, to my petticoat;

Or what you will command me will I do,

So well I know my duty to my elders.

Katherina

Of all thy suitors here I charge thee tell

Whom thou lov’st best. See thou dissemble not.

Bianca

Believe me, sister, of all the men alive

I never yet beheld that special face

Which I could fancy more than any other.

Katherina

Minion, thou liest. Is’t not Hortensio?

Bianca

If you affect him, sister, here I swear

I’ll plead for you myself but you shall have him.

Katherina

O then, belike, you fancy riches more:

You will have Gremio to keep you fair.

Bianca

Is it for him you do envy me so?

Nay, then you jest; and now I well perceive

You have but jested with me all this while.

I prithee, sister Kate, untie my hands.

Katherina

[Strikes her] If that be jest, then an the rest was so.

Enter Baptista

Baptista

Why, how now, dame! Whence grows this insolence?

Bianca, stand aside- poor girl! she weeps. [He unbinds her]

Go ply thy needle; meddle not with her.

For shame, thou hilding of a devilish spirit,

Why dost thou wrong her that did ne’er wrong thee?

When did she cross thee with a bitter word?

Katherina

Her silence flouts me, and I’ll be reveng’d. [Flies after Bianca]

Baptista

What, in my sight? Bianca, get thee in.

Exit Bianca

Katherina

What, will you not suffer me? Nay, now I see

She is your treasure, she must have a husband;

I must dance bare-foot on her wedding-day,

And for your love to her lead apes in hell.

Talk not to me; I will go sit and weep,

Till I can find occasion of revenge.

Exit Katherina

Baptista

Was ever gentleman thus griev’d as I?

But who comes here?

Enter Gremio, with Lucentio in the habit of a mean man; Petruchio, with Hortensio as a musician; and Tranio, as Lucentio, with his boy, Biondello, bearing a lute and books

Gremio

Good morrow, neighbour Baptista.

Baptista

Good morrow, neighbour Gremio.

God save you, gentlemen!

Petruchio

And you, good sir! Pray, have you not a daughter

Call’d Katherina, fair and virtuous?

Baptista

I have a daughter, sir, call’d Katherina.

Gremio

You are too blunt; go to it orderly.

Petruchio

You wrong me, Signior Gremio; give me leave.

I am a gentleman of Verona, sir,

That, hearing of her beauty and her wit,

Her affability and bashful modesty,

Her wondrous qualities and mild behaviour,

Am bold to show myself a forward guest

Within your house, to make mine eye the witness

Of that report which I so oft have heard.

And, for an entrance to my entertainment,

I do present you with a man of mine, [Presenting Hortensio]

Cunning in music and the mathematics,

To instruct her fully in those sciences,

Whereof I know she is not ignorant.

Accept of him, or else you do me wrong-

His name is Licio, born in Mantua.

Baptista

Y’are welcome, sir, and he for your good sake;

But for my daughter Katherine, this I know,

She is not for your turn, the more my grief.

Petruchio

I see you do not mean to part with her;

Or else you like not of my company.

Baptista

Mistake me not; I speak but as I find.

Whence are you, sir? What may I call your name?

Petruchio

Petruchio is my name, Antonio’s son,

A man well known throughout all Italy.

Baptista

I know him well; you are welcome for his sake.

Gremio

Saving your tale, Petruchio, I pray,

Let us that are poor petitioners speak too.

Bacare! you are marvellous forward.

Petruchio

O, pardon me, Signior Gremio! I would fain be doing.

Gremio

I doubt it not, sir; but you will curse your wooing.

Neighbour, this is a gift very grateful, I am sure of it. To express the like kindness, myself, that have been more kindly beholding to you than any, freely give unto you this young scholar [Presenting Lucentio] that hath been long studying at Rheims; as cunning in Greek, Latin, and other languages, as the other in music and mathematics. His name is Cambio. Pray accept his service.

Baptista

A thousand thanks, Signior Gremio. Welcome, good Cambio.

[To Tranio] But, gentle sir, methinks you walk like a stranger.

May I be so bold to know the cause of your coming?

Tranio

Pardon me, sir, the boldness is mine own

That, being a stranger in this city here,

Do make myself a suitor to your daughter,

Unto Bianca, fair and virtuous.

Nor is your firm resolve unknown to me

In the preferment of the eldest sister.

This liberty is all that I request-

That, upon knowledge of my parentage,

I may have welcome ‘mongst the rest that woo,

And free access and favour as the rest.

And toward the education of your daughters

I here bestow a simple instrument,

And this small packet of Greek and Latin books.

If you accept them, then their worth is great.

Baptista

Lucentio is your name? Of whence, I pray?

Tranio

Of Pisa, sir; son to Vincentio.

Baptista

A mighty man of Pisa. By report

I know him well. You are very welcome, sir.

Take you the lute, and you the set of books;

You shall go see your pupils presently.

Holla, within!

Enter a Servant

Sirrah, lead these gentlemen

To my daughters; and tell them both

These are their tutors. Bid them use them well.

Exit Servant leading Hortensio carrying the lute and Lucentio with the books

We will go walk a little in the orchard,

And then to dinner. You are passing welcome,

And so I pray you all to think yourselves.

Petruchio

Signior Baptista, my business asketh haste,

And every day I cannot come to woo.

You knew my father well, and in him me,

Left solely heir to all his lands and goods,

Which I have bettered rather than decreas’d.

Then tell me, if I get your daughter’s love,

What dowry shall I have with her to wife?

Baptista

After my death, the one half of my lands

And, in possession, twenty thousand crowns.

Petruchio

And for that dowry, I’ll assure her of

Her widowhood, be it that she survive me,

In all my lands and leases whatsoever.

Let specialities be therefore drawn between us,

That covenants may be kept on either hand.

Baptista

Ay, when the special thing is well obtain’d,

That is, her love; for that is all in all.

Petruchio

Why, that is nothing; for I tell you, father,

I am as peremptory as she proud-minded;

And where two raging fires meet together,

They do consume the thing that feeds their fury.

Though little fire grows great with little wind,

Yet extreme gusts will blow out fire and all.

So I to her, and so she yields to me;

For I am rough, and woo not like a babe.

Baptista

Well mayst thou woo, and happy be thy speed

But be thou arm’d for some unhappy words.

Petruchio

Ay, to the proof, as mountains are for winds,

That shake not though they blow perpetually.

Re-enter Hortensio, with his head broke

Baptista

How now, my friend! Why dost thou look so pale?

Hortensio

For fear, I promise you, if I look pale.

Baptista

What, will my daughter prove a good musician?

Hortensio

I think she’ll sooner prove a soldier:

Iron may hold with her, but never lutes.

Baptista

Why, then thou canst not break her to the lute?

Hortensio

Why, no; for she hath broke the lute to me.

I did but tell her she mistook her frets,

And bow’d her hand to teach her fingering,

When, with a most impatient devilish spirit,

‘Frets, call you these?’ quoth she ‘I’ll fume with them.’

And with that word she struck me on the head,

And through the instrument my pate made way;

And there I stood amazed for a while,

As on a pillory, looking through the lute,

While she did call me rascal fiddler

And twangling Jack, with twenty such vile terms,

As she had studied to misuse me so.

Petruchio

Now, by the world, it is a lusty wench;

I love her ten times more than e’er I did.

O, how I long to have some chat with her!

Baptista

Well, go with me, and be not so discomfited;

Proceed in practice with my younger daughter;

She’s apt to learn, and thankful for good turns.

Signior Petruchio, will you go with us,

Or shall I send my daughter Kate to you?

Petruchio

I pray you do.

Exeunt all but Petruchio

I’ll attend her here,

And woo her with some spirit when she comes.

Say that she rail; why, then I’ll tell her plain

She sings as sweetly as a nightingale.

Say that she frown; I’ll say she looks as clear

As morning roses newly wash’d with dew.

Say she be mute, and will not speak a word;

Then I’ll commend her volubility,

And say she uttereth piercing eloquence.

If she do bid me pack, I’ll give her thanks,

As though she bid me stay by her a week;

If she deny to wed, I’ll crave the day

When I shall ask the banns, and when be married.

But here she comes; And now, Petruchio, speak.

Enter Katherina

Good morrow, Kate - for that’s your name, I hear.

Katherina

Well have you heard, but something hard of hearing:

They call me Katherine that do talk of me.

Petruchio

You lie, in faith, for you are call’d plain Kate,

And bonny Kate, and sometimes Kate the curst;

But, Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom,

Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate,

For dainties are all Kates, and therefore, Kate,

Take this of me, Kate of my consolation-

Hearing thy mildness prais’d in every town,

Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded,

Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs,

Myself am mov’d to woo thee for my wife.

Katherina

Mov’d! in good time! Let him that mov’d you hither

Remove you hence. I knew you at the first

You were a moveable.

Petruchio

Why, what’s a moveable?

Katherina

A join’d-stool.

Petruchio

Thou hast hit it. Come, sit on me.

Katherina

Asses are made to bear, and so are you.

Petruchio

Women are made to bear, and so are you.

Katherina

No such jade as you, if me you mean.

Petruchio

Alas, good Kate, I will not burden thee!

For, knowing thee to be but young and light-

Katherina

Too light for such a swain as you to catch;

And yet as heavy as my weight should be.

Petruchio

Should be! should- buzz!

Katherina

Well ta’en, and like a buzzard.

Petruchio

O, slow-wing’d turtle, shall a buzzard take thee?

Katherina

Ay, for a turtle, as he takes a buzzard.

Petruchio

Come, come, you wasp; i’ faith, you are too angry.

Katherina

If I be waspish, best beware my sting.

Petruchio

My remedy is then to pluck it out.

Katherina

Ay, if the fool could find it where it lies.

Petruchio

Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting?

In his tail.

Katherina

In his tongue.

Petruchio

Whose tongue?

Katherina

Yours, if you talk of tales; and so farewell.

Petruchio

What, with my tongue in your tail? Nay, come again,

Good Kate; I am a gentleman.

Katherina

That I’ll try. [She strikes him]

Petruchio

I swear I’ll cuff you, if you strike again.

Katherina

So may you lose your arms.

If you strike me, you are no gentleman;

And if no gentleman, why then no arms.

Petruchio

A herald, Kate? O, put me in thy books!

Katherina

What is your crest- a coxcomb?

Petruchio

A combless cock, so Kate will be my hen.

Katherina

No cock of mine: you crow too like a craven.

Petruchio

Nay, come, Kate, come; you must not look so sour.

Katherina

It is my fashion, when I see a crab.

Petruchio

Why, here’s no crab; and therefore look not sour.

Katherina

There is, there is.

Petruchio

Then show it me.

Katherina

Had I a glass I would.

Petruchio

What, you mean my face?

Katherina

Well aim’d of such a young one.

Petruchio

Now, by Saint George, I am too young for you.

Katherina

Yet you are wither’d.

Petruchio

‘Tis with cares.

Katherina

I care not.

Petruchio

Nay, hear you, Kate- in sooth, you scape not so.

Katherina

I chafe you, if I tarry; let me go.

Petruchio

No, not a whit; I find you passing gentle.

‘Twas told me you were rough, and coy, and sullen,

And now I find report a very liar;

For thou art pleasant, gamesome, passing courteous,

But slow in speech, yet sweet as springtime flowers.

Thou canst not frown, thou canst not look askance,

Nor bite the lip, as angry wenches will,

Nor hast thou pleasure to be cross in talk;

But thou with mildness entertain’st thy wooers;

With gentle conference, soft and affable.

Why does the world report that Kate doth limp?

O sland’rous world! Kate like the hazel-twig

Is straight and slender, and as brown in hue

As hazel-nuts, and sweeter than the kernels.

O, let me see thee walk. Thou dost not halt.

Katherina

Go, fool, and whom thou keep’st command.

Petruchio

Did ever Dian so become a grove

As Kate this chamber with her princely gait?

O, be thou Dian, and let her be Kate;

And then let Kate be chaste, and Dian sportful!

Katherina

Where did you study all this goodly speech?

Petruchio

It is extempore, from my mother wit.

Katherina

A witty mother! witless else her son.

Petruchio

Am I not wise?

Katherina

Yes, keep you warm.

Petruchio

Marry, so I mean, sweet Katherine, in thy bed.

And therefore, setting all this chat aside,

Thus in plain terms: your father hath consented

That you shall be my wife your dowry greed on;

And will you, nill you, I will marry you.

Now, Kate, I am a husband for your turn;

For, by this light, whereby I see thy beauty,

Thy beauty that doth make me like thee well,

Thou must be married to no man but me;

For I am he am born to tame you, Kate,

And bring you from a wild Kate to a Kate

Conformable as other household Kates.

Re-enter Baptista, Gremio, and Tranio

Here comes your father. Never make denial;

I must and will have Katherine to my wife.

Baptista

Now, Signior Petruchio, how speed you with my daughter?

Petruchio

How but well, sir? how but well?

It were impossible I should speed amiss.

Baptista

Why, how now, daughter Katherine, in your dumps?

Katherina

Call you me daughter? Now I promise you

You have show’d a tender fatherly regard

To wish me wed to one half lunatic,

A mad-cap ruffian and a swearing Jack,

That thinks with oaths to face the matter out.

Petruchio

Father, ‘tis thus: yourself and all the world

That talk’d of her have talk’d amiss of her.

If she be curst, it is for policy,

For,she’s not froward, but modest as the dove;

She is not hot, but temperate as the morn;

For patience she will prove a second Grissel,

And Roman Lucrece for her chastity.

And, to conclude, we have ‘greed so well together

That upon Sunday is the wedding-day.

Katherina

I’ll see thee hang’d on Sunday first.

Gremio

Hark, Petruchio; she says she’ll see thee hang’d first.

Tranio

Is this your speeding? Nay, then good-night our part!

Petruchio

Be patient, gentlemen. I choose her for myself;

If she and I be pleas’d, what’s that to you?

‘Tis bargain’d ‘twixt us twain, being alone,

That she shall still be curst in company.

I tell you ‘tis incredible to believe.

How much she loves me- O, the kindest Kate!

She hung about my neck, and kiss on kiss

She vied so fast, protesting oath on oath,

That in a twink she won me to her love.

O, you are novices! ‘Tis a world to see,

How tame, when men and women are alone,

A meacock wretch can make the curstest shrew.

Give me thy hand, Kate; I will unto Venice,

To buy apparel ‘gainst the wedding-day.

Provide the feast, father, and bid the guests;

I will be sure my Katherine shall be fine.

Baptista

I know not what to say; but give me your hands.

God send you joy, Petruchio! ‘Tis a match.

Gremio, Tranio

Amen, say we; we will be witnesses.

Petruchio

Father, and wife, and gentlemen, adieu.

I will to Venice; Sunday comes apace;

We will have rings and things, and fine array;

And kiss me, Kate; we will be married a Sunday.

Exeunt Petruchio and Katherina severally

Gremio

Was ever match clapp’d up so suddenly?

Baptista

Faith, gentlemen, now I play a merchant’s part,

And venture madly on a desperate mart.

Tranio

‘Twas a commodity lay fretting by you;

‘Twill bring you gain, or perish on the seas.

Baptista

The gain I seek is quiet in the match.

Gremio

No doubt but he hath got a quiet catch.

But now, Baptista, to your younger daughter:

Now is the day we long have looked for;

I am your neighbour, and was suitor first.

Tranio

And I am one that love Bianca more

Than words can witness or your thoughts can guess.

Gremio

Youngling, thou canst not love so dear as I.

Tranio

Greybeard, thy love doth freeze.

Gremio

But thine doth fry.

Skipper, stand back; ‘tis age that nourisheth.

Tranio

But youth in ladies’ eyes that flourisheth.

Baptista

Content you, gentlemen; I will compound this strife.

‘Tis deeds must win the prize, and he of both

That can assure my daughter greatest dower

Shall have my Bianca’s love.

Say, Signior Gremio, what can you assure her?

Gremio

First, as you know, my house within the city

Is richly furnished with plate and gold,

Basins and ewers to lave her dainty hands;

My hangings all of Tyrian tapestry;

In ivory coffers I have stuff’d my crowns;

In cypress chests my arras counterpoints,

Costly apparel, tents, and canopies,

Fine linen, Turkey cushions boss’d with pearl,

Valance of Venice gold in needle-work;

Pewter and brass, and all things that belongs

To house or housekeeping. Then at my farm

I have a hundred milch-kine to the pail,

Six score fat oxen standing in my stalls,

And all things answerable to this portion.

Myself am struck in years, I must confess;

And if I die to-morrow this is hers,

If whilst I live she will be only mine.

Tranio

That ‘only’ came well in. Sir, list to me:

I am my father’s heir and only son;

If I may have your daughter to my wife,

I’ll leave her houses three or four as good

Within rich Pisa’s walls as any one

Old Signior Gremio has in Padua;

Besides two thousand ducats by the year

Of fruitful land, all which shall be her jointure.

What, have I pinch’d you, Signior Gremio?

Gremio

Two thousand ducats by the year of land!

[Aside] My land amounts not to so much in all.-

That she shall have, besides an argosy

That now is lying in Marseilles road.

What, have I chok’d you with an argosy?

Tranio

Gremio, ‘tis known my father hath no less

Than three great argosies, besides two galliasses,

And twelve tight galleys. These I will assure her,

And twice as much whate’er thou off’rest next.

Gremio

Nay, I have off’red all; I have no more;

And she can have no more than all I have;

If you like me, she shall have me and mine.

Tranio

Why, then the maid is mine from all the world

By your firm promise; Gremio is out-vied.

Baptista

I must confess your offer is the best;

And let your father make her the assurance,

She is your own. Else, you must pardon me;

If you should die before him, where’s her dower?

Tranio

That’s but a cavil; he is old, I young.

Gremio

And may not young men die as well as old?

Baptista

Well, gentlemen,

I am thus resolv’d: on Sunday next you know

My daughter Katherine is to be married;

Now, on the Sunday following shall Bianca

Be bride to you, if you make this assurance;

If not, to Signior Gremio.

And so I take my leave, and thank you both.

Gremio

Adieu, good neighbour.

Exit Baptista

Now, I fear thee not.

Sirrah young gamester, your father were a fool

To give thee all, and in his waning age

Set foot under thy table. Tut, a toy!

An old Italian fox is not so kind, my boy.

Exit

Tranio

A vengeance on your crafty withered hide!

Yet I have fac’d it with a card of ten.

‘Tis in my head to do my master good:

I see no reason but suppos’d Lucentio

Must get a father, call’d suppos’d Vincentio;

And that’s a wonder- fathers commonly

Do get their children; but in this case of wooing

A child shall get a sire, if I fail not of my cunning.

Exit

Act III

Scene I

Padua. Baptista’s house

Enter Lucentio as Cambio, Hortensio as Licio, and Bianca

Lucentio

Fiddler, forbear; you grow too forward, sir.

Have you so soon forgot the entertainment

Her sister Katherine welcome’d you withal?

Hortensio

But, wrangling pedant, this is

The patroness of heavenly harmony.

Then give me leave to have prerogative;

And when in music we have spent an hour,

Your lecture shall have leisure for as much.

Lucentio

Preposterous ass, that never read so far

To know the cause why music was ordain’d!

Was it not to refresh the mind of man

After his studies or his usual pain?

Then give me leave to read philosophy,

And while I pause serve in your harmony.

Hortensio

Sirrah, I will not bear these braves of thine.

Bianca

Why, gentlemen, you do me double wrong

To strive for that which resteth in my choice.

I arn no breeching scholar in the schools,

I’ll not be tied to hours nor ‘pointed times,

But learn my lessons as I please myself.

And to cut off all strife: here sit we down;

Take you your instrument, play you the whiles!

His lecture will be done ere you have tun’d.

Hortensio

You’ll leave his lecture when I am in tune?

Lucentio

That will be never- tune your instrument.

Bianca

Where left we last?

Lucentio

Here, madam:

‘Hic ibat Simois, hic est Sigeia tellus,

Hic steterat Priami regia celsa senis.’

Bianca

Construe them.

Lucentio

‘Hic ibat’ as I told you before- ‘Simois’ I am Lucentio ‘hic est’ son unto Vincentio of Pisa- ‘Sigeia tellus’ disguised thus to get your love- ‘Hic steterat’ and that Lucentio that comes a-wooing- ‘Priami’ is my man Tranio- ‘regia’ bearing my port- ‘celsa senis’ that we might beguile the old pantaloon.

Hortensio

Madam, my instrument’s in tune.

Bianca

Let’s hear. O fie! the treble jars.

Lucentio

Spit in the hole, man, and tune again.

Bianca

Now let me see if I can construe it: ‘Hic ibat Simois’ I know you not- ‘hic est Sigeia tellus’ I trust you not- ‘Hic steterat Priami’ take heed he hear us not- ‘regia’ presume not ‘celsa senis’ despair not.

Hortensio

Madam, ‘tis now in tune.

Lucentio

All but the bass.

Hortensio

The bass is right; ‘tis the base knave that jars.

[Aside] How fiery and forward our pedant is!

Now, for my life, the knave doth court my love.

Pedascule, I’ll watch you better yet.

Bianca

In time I may believe, yet I mistrust.

Lucentio

Mistrust it not- for sure, Aeacides

Was Ajax, call’d so from his grandfather.

Bianca

I must believe my master; else, I promise you,

I should be arguing still upon that doubt;

But let it rest. Now, Licio, to you.

Good master, take it not unkindly, pray,

That I have been thus pleasant with you both.

Hortensio

[To Lucentio] You may go walk and give me leave awhile;

My lessons make no music in three Parts.

Lucentio

Are you so formal, sir? Well, I must wait,

[Aside] And watch withal; for, but I be deceiv’d,

Our fine musician groweth amorous.

Hortensio

Madam, before you touch the instrument

To learn the order of my fingering,

I must begin with rudiments of art,

To teach you gamut in a briefer sort,

More pleasant, pithy, and effectual,

Than hath been taught by any of my trade;

And there it is in writing fairly drawn.

Bianca

Why, I am past my gamut long ago.

Hortensio

Yet read the gamut of Hortensio.

Bianca

[Reads] ‘“Gamut” I am, the ground of all accord-

“A re” to plead Hortensio’s passion-

“B mi” Bianca, take him for thy lord-

“C fa ut” that loves with all affection-

“D sol re” one clef, two notes have I-

“E la mi” show pity or I die.’

Call you this gamut? Tut, I like it not!

Old fashions please me best; I am not so nice

To change true rules for odd inventions.

Enter a Servant

Servant

Mistress, your father prays you leave your books

And help to dress your sister’s chamber up.

You know to-morrow is the wedding-day.

Bianca

Farewell, sweet masters, both; I must be gone.

Exeunt Bianca and Servant

Lucentio

Faith, mistress, then I have no cause to stay.

Exit

Hortensio

But I have cause to pry into this pedant;

Methinks he looks as though he were in love.

Yet if thy thoughts, Bianca, be so humble

To cast thy wand’ring eyes on every stale-

Seize thee that list. If once I find thee ranging,

Hortensio will be quit with thee by changing.

Exit

Scene II

Padua. Before Baptista’s house

Enter Baptista, Gremio, Tranio as Lucentio, Katherina, Bianca, Lucentio as Cambio, and Attendants

Baptista

[To Tranio] Signior Lucentio, this is the ‘pointed day

That Katherine and Petruchio should be married,

And yet we hear not of our son-in-law.

What will be said? What mockery will it be

To want the bridegroom when the priest attends

To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage!

What says Lucentio to this shame of ours?

Katherina

No shame but mine; I must, forsooth, be forc’d

To give my hand, oppos’d against my heart,

Unto a mad-brain rudesby, full of spleen,

Who woo’d in haste and means to wed at leisure.

I told you, I, he was a frantic fool,

Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behaviour;

And, to be noted for a merry man,

He’ll woo a thousand, ‘point the day of marriage,

Make friends invited, and proclaim the banns;

Yet never means to wed where he hath woo’d.

Now must the world point at poor Katherine,

And say ‘Lo, there is mad Petruchio’s wife,

If it would please him come and marry her!’

Tranio

Patience, good Katherine, and Baptista too.

Upon my life, Petruchio means but well,

Whatever fortune stays him from his word.

Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise;

Though he be merry, yet withal he’s honest.

Katherina

Would Katherine had never seen him though!

Exit, weeping, followed by Bianca and others

Baptista

Go, girl, I cannot blame thee now to weep,

For such an injury would vex a very saint;

Much more a shrew of thy impatient humour.

Enter Biondello

Master, master! News, and such old news as you never heard of!

Baptista

Is it new and old too? How may that be?

Biondello

Why, is it not news to hear of Petruchio’s coming?

Baptista

Is he come?

Biondello

Why, no, sir.

Baptista

What then?

Biondello

He is coming.

Baptista

When will he be here?

Biondello

When he stands where I am and sees you there.

Tranio

But, say, what to thine old news?

Biondello

Why, Petruchio is coming- in a new hat and an old jerkin; a pair of old breeches thrice turn’d; a pair of boots that have been candle-cases, one buckled, another lac’d; an old rusty sword ta’en out of the town armoury, with a broken hilt, and chapeless; with two broken points; his horse hipp’d, with an old motley saddle and stirrups of no kindred; besides, possess’d with the glanders and like to mose in the chine, troubled with the lampass, infected with the fashions, full of windgalls, sped with spavins, rayed with the yellows, past cure of the fives, stark spoil’d with the staggers, begnawn with the bots, sway’d in the back and shoulder-shotten, near-legg’d before, and with a half-cheek’d bit, and a head-stall of sheep’s leather which, being restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been often burst, and now repaired with knots; one girth six times piec’d, and a woman’s crupper of velure, which hath two letters for her name fairly set down in studs, and here and there piec’d with pack-thread.

Baptista

Who comes with him?

Biondello

O, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparison’d like the horse- with a linen stock on one leg and a kersey boot-hose on the other, gart’red with a red and blue list; an old hat, and the humour of forty fancies prick’d in’t for a feather; a monster, a very monster in apparel, and not like a Christian footboy or a gentleman’s lackey.

Tranio

‘Tis some odd humour pricks him to this fashion;

Yet oftentimes lie goes but mean-apparell’d.

Baptista

I am glad he’s come, howsoe’er he comes.

Biondello

Why, sir, he comes not.

Baptista

Didst thou not say he comes?

Biondello

Who? that Petruchio came?

Baptista

Ay, that Petruchio came.

Biondello

No, sir; I say his horse comes with him on his back.

Baptista

Why, that’s all one.

Biondello

Nay, by Saint Jamy,

I hold you a penny,

A horse and a man

Is more than one,

And yet not many.

Enter Petruchio and Grumio

Petruchio

Come, where be these gallants? Who’s at home?

Baptista

You are welcome, sir.

Petruchio

And yet I come not well.

Baptista

And yet you halt not.

Tranio

Not so well apparell’d

As I wish you were.

Petruchio

Were it better, I should rush in thus.

But where is Kate? Where is my lovely bride?

How does my father? Gentles, methinks you frown;

And wherefore gaze this goodly company

As if they saw some wondrous monument,

Some comet or unusual prodigy?

Baptista

Why, sir, you know this is your wedding-day.

First were we sad, fearing you would not come;

Now sadder, that you come so unprovided.

Fie, doff this habit, shame to your estate,

An eye-sore to our solemn festival!

Tranio

And tell us what occasion of import

Hath all so long detain’d you from your wife,

And sent you hither so unlike yourself?

Petruchio

Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear;

Sufficeth I am come to keep my word,

Though in some part enforced to digress,

Which at more leisure I will so excuse

As you shall well be satisfied withal.

But where is Kate? I stay too long from her;

The morning wears, ‘tis time we were at church.

Tranio

See not your bride in these unreverent robes;

Go to my chamber, put on clothes of mine.

Petruchio

Not I, believe me; thus I’ll visit her.

Baptista

But thus, I trust, you will not marry her.

Petruchio

Good sooth, even thus; therefore ha’ done with words;

To me she’s married, not unto my clothes.

Could I repair what she will wear in me

As I can change these poor accoutrements,

‘Twere well for Kate and better for myself.

But what a fool am I to chat with you,

When I should bid good-morrow to my bride

And seal the title with a lovely kiss!

Exeunt Petruchio and Petruchio

Tranio

He hath some meaning in his mad attire.

We will persuade him, be it possible,

To put on better ere he go to church.

Baptista

I’ll after him and see the event of this.

Exeunt Baptista, Gremio, Biondello, and Attendents

Tranio

But to her love concerneth us to ad

Her father’s liking; which to bring to pass,

As I before imparted to your worship,

I am to get a man- whate’er he be

It skills not much; we’ll fit him to our turn-

And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa,

And make assurance here in Padua

Of greater sums than I have promised.

So shall you quietly enjoy your hope

And marry sweet Bianca with consent.

Lucentio

Were it not that my fellow schoolmaster

Doth watch Bianca’s steps so narrowly,

‘Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage;

Which once perform’d, let all the world say no,

I’ll keep mine own despite of all the world.

Tranio

That by degrees we mean to look into

And watch our vantage in this business;

We’ll over-reach the greybeard, Gremio,

The narrow-prying father, Minola,

The quaint musician, amorous Licio-

All for my master’s sake, Lucentio.

Re-enter Gremio

Signior Gremio, came you from the church?

Gremio

As willingly as e’er I came from school.

Tranio

And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?

Gremio

A bridegroom, say you? ‘Tis a groom indeed,

A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.

Tranio

Curster than she? Why, ‘tis impossible.

Gremio

Why, he’s a devil, a devil, a very fiend.

Tranio

Why, she’s a devil, a devil, the devil’s dam.

Gremio

Tut, she’s a lamb, a dove, a fool, to him!

I’ll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest

Should ask if Katherine should be his wife,

‘Ay, by gogs-wouns’ quoth he, and swore so loud

That, all amaz’d, the priest let fall the book;

And as he stoop’d again to take it up,

This mad-brain’d bridegroom took him such a cuff

That down fell priest and book, and book and priest.

‘Now take them up,’ quoth he ‘if any list.’

Tranio

What said the wench, when he rose again?

Gremio

Trembled and shook, for why he stamp’d and swore

As if the vicar meant to cozen him.

But after many ceremonies done

He calls for wine: ‘A health!’ quoth he, as if

He had been abroad, carousing to his mates

After a storm; quaff’d off the muscadel,

And threw the sops all in the sexton’s face,

Having no other reason

But that his beard grew thin and hungerly

And seem’d to ask him sops as he was drinking.

This done, he took the bride about the neck,

And kiss’d her lips with such a clamorous smack

That at the parting all the church did echo.

And I, seeing this, came thence for very shame;

And after me, I know, the rout is coming.

Such a mad marriage never was before.

Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play. [Music plays]

Enter Petruchio, Katherina, Bianca, Baptista, Hortensio, Grumio, and train

Petruchio

Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains.

I know you think to dine with me to-day,

And have prepar’d great store of wedding cheer

But so it is- my haste doth call me hence,

And therefore here I mean to take my leave.

Baptista

Is’t possible you will away to-night?

Petruchio

I must away to-day before night come.

Make it no wonder; if you knew my business,

You would entreat me rather go than stay.

And, honest company, I thank you all

That have beheld me give away myself

To this most patient, sweet, and virtuous wife.

Dine with my father, drink a health to me.

For I must hence; and farewell to you all.

Tranio

Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.

Petruchio

It may not be.

Gremio

Let me entreat you.

Petruchio

It cannot be.

Katherina

Let me entreat you.

Petruchio

I am content.

Katherina

Are you content to stay?

Petruchio

I am content you shall entreat me stay;

But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.

Katherina

Now, if you love me, stay.

Petruchio

Grumio, my horse.

Grumio

Ay, sir, they be ready; the oats have eaten the horses.

Katherina

Nay, then,

Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day;

No, nor to-morrow, not till I please myself.

The door is open, sir; there lies your way;

You may be jogging whiles your boots are green;

For me, I’ll not be gone till I please myself.

‘Tis like you’ll prove a jolly surly groom

That take it on you at the first so roundly.

Petruchio

O Kate, content thee; prithee be not angry.

Katherina

I will be angry; what hast thou to do?

Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure.

Gremio

Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work.

Katherina

Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner.

I see a woman may be made a fool

If she had not a spirit to resist.

Petruchio

They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.

Obey the bride, you that attend on her;

Go to the feast, revel and domineer,

Carouse full measure to her maidenhead;

Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves.

But for my bonny Kate, she must with me.

Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret;

I will be master of what is mine own-

She is my goods, my chattels, she is my house,

My household stuff, my field, my barn,

My horse, my ox, my ass, my any thing,

And here she stands; touch her whoever dare;

I’ll bring mine action on the proudest he

That stops my way in Padua. Grumio,

Draw forth thy weapon; we are beset with thieves;

Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man.

Fear not, sweet wench; they shall not touch thee, Kate;

I’ll buckler thee against a million.

Exeunt Petruchio, Katherina, and Grumio

Baptista

Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones.

Gremio

Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing.

Tranio

Of all mad matches, never was the like.

Lucentio

Mistress, what’s your opinion of your sister?

Bianca

That, being mad herself, she’s madly mated.

Gremio

I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated.

Baptista

Neighbours and friends, though bride and bridegroom wants

For to supply the places at the table,

You know there wants no junkets at the feast.

Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom’s place;

And let Bianca take her sister’s room.

Tranio

Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it?

Baptista

She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let’s go.

Exeunt

Act IV

Scene I

Petruchio’s country house

Enter Grumio

Grumio

Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? Was ever man so ray’d? Was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now were not I a little pot and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me. But I with blowing the fire shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold.

Holla, ho! Curtis!

Enter Curtis

Curtis

Who is that calls so coldly?

Grumio

A piece of ice. If thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis.

Curtis

Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?

Grumio

O, ay, Curtis, ay; and therefore fire, fire; cast on no water.

Curtis

Is she so hot a shrew as she’s reported?

Grumio

She was, good Curtis, before this frost; but thou know’st winter tames man, woman, and beast; for it hath tam’d my old master, and my new mistress, and myself, fellow Curtis.

Curtis

Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.

Grumio

Am I but three inches? Why, thy horn is a foot, and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand- she being now at hand- thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office?

Curtis

I prithee, good Grumio, tell me how goes the world?

Grumio

A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and therefore fire. Do thy duty, and have thy duty, for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.

Curtis

There’s fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news?

Grumio

Why, ‘Jack boy! ho, boy!’ and as much news as thou wilt.

Curtis

Come, you are so full of cony-catching!

Grumio

Why, therefore, fire; for I have caught extreme cold.

Where’s the cook? Is supper ready, the house trimm’d, rushes strew’d, cobwebs swept, the serving-men in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on?

Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without, the carpets laid, and everything in order?

Curtis

All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news.

Grumio

First know my horse is tired; my master and mistress fall’n out.

Curtis

How?

Grumio

Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby hangs a tale.

Curtis

Let’s ha’t, good Grumio.

Grumio

Lend thine ear.

Curtis

Here.

Grumio

There. [Striking him]

Curtis

This ‘tis to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.

Grumio

And therefore ‘tis call’d a sensible tale; and this cuff was but to knock at your car and beseech list’ning. Now I begin:

Imprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress-

Curtis

Both of one horse?

Grumio

What’s that to thee?

Curtis

Why, a horse.

Grumio

Tell thou the tale. But hadst thou not cross’d me, thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell and she under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how miry a place, how she was bemoil’d, how he left her with the horse upon her, how he beat me because her horse stumbled, how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me, how he swore, how she pray’d that never pray’d before, how I cried, how the horses ran away, how her bridle was burst, how I lost my crupper- with many things of worthy memory, which now shall die in oblivion, and thou return unexperienc’d to thy grave.

Curtis

By this reck’ning he is more shrew than she.

Grumio

Ay, and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find when he comes home. But what talk I of this? Call forth

Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest; let their heads be sleekly comb’d, their blue coats brush’d and their garters of an indifferent knit; let them curtsy with their left legs, and not presume to touch a hair of my mastcr’s horse-tail till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?

Curtis

They are.

Grumio

Call them forth.

Curtis

Do you hear, ho? You must meet my master, to countenance my mistress.

Grumio

Why, she hath a face of her own.

Curtis

Who knows not that?

Grumio

Thou, it seems, that calls for company to countenance her.

Curtis

I call them forth to credit her.

Grumio

Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.

Enter four or five Servingmen

Nathaniel

Welcome home, Grumio!

Philip

How now, Grumio!

Joseph

What, Grumio!

Nicholas

Fellow Grumio!

Nathaniel

How now, old lad!

Grumio

Welcome, you!- how now, you!- what, you!- fellow, you!- and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat?

Nathaniel

All things is ready. How near is our master?

Grumio

E’en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be not-

Cock’s passion, silence! I hear my master.

Enter Petruchio and Katherina

Petruchio

Where be these knaves? What, no man at door

To hold my stirrup nor to take my horse!

Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?

All Servants

Here, here, sir; here, sir.

Petruchio

Here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! here, sir!

You logger-headed and unpolish’d grooms!

What, no attendance? no regard? no duty?

Where is the foolish knave I sent before?

Grumio

Here, sir; as foolish as I was before.

Petruchio

You peasant swain! you whoreson malt-horse drudge!

Did I not bid thee meet me in the park

And bring along these rascal knaves with thee?

Grumio

Nathaniel’s coat, sir, was not fully made,

And Gabriel’s pumps were all unpink’d i’ th’ heel;

There was no link to colour Peter’s hat,

And Walter’s dagger was not come from sheathing;

There were none fine but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory;

The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly;

Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you.

Petruchio

Go, rascals, go and fetch my supper in.

Exeunt some of the Servingmen

[Sings] Where is the life that late I led? Where are those-

Sit down, Kate, and welcome. Soud, soud, soud, soud!

Re-enter Servants with supper

Why, when, I say? Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry.

Off with my boots, you rogues! you villains, when?

[Sings] It was the friar of orders grey, As he forth walked on his way-

Out, you rogue! you pluck my foot awry;

Take that, and mend the plucking off the other. [Strikes him]

Be merry, Kate. Some water, here, what, ho!

Enter one with water

Where’s my spaniel Troilus? Sirrah, get you hence,

And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither:

Exit Servingman

One, Kate, that you must kiss and be acquainted with.

Where are my slippers? Shall I have some water?

Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.

You whoreson villain! will you let it fall? [Strikes him]

Katherina

Patience, I pray you; ‘twas a fault unwilling.

Petruchio

A whoreson, beetle-headed, flap-ear’d knave!

Come, Kate, sit down; I know you have a stomach.

Will you give thanks, sweet Kate, or else shall I?

What’s this? Mutton?

First Servant

Ay.

Petruchio

Who brought it?

Peter

I.

Petruchio

‘Tis burnt; and so is all the meat.

What dogs are these? Where is the rascal cook?

How durst you villains bring it from the dresser

And serve it thus to me that love it not?

There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all; [Throws the meat, etc., at them]

You heedless joltheads and unmanner’d slaves!

What, do you grumble? I’ll be with you straight.

Exeunt Servants

Katherina

I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet;

The meat was well, if you were so contented.

Petruchio

I tell thee, Kate, ‘twas burnt and dried away,

And I expressly am forbid to touch it;

For it engenders choler, planteth anger;

And better ‘twere that both of us did fast,

Since, of ourselves, ourselves are choleric,

Than feed it with such over-roasted flesh.

Be patient; to-morrow ‘t shall be mended.

And for this night we’ll fast for company.

Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber.

Exeunt

Re-enter Servants severally

Nathaniel

Peter, didst ever see the like?

Peter

He kills her in her own humour.

Re-enter Curtis

Grumio

Where is he?

Curtis

In her chamber. Making a sermon of continency to her,

And rails, and swears, and rates, that she, poor soul,

Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak.

And sits as one new risen from a dream.

Away, away! for he is coming hither.

Exeunt

Re-enter Petruchio

Petruchio

Thus have I politicly begun my reign,

And ‘tis my hope to end successfully.

My falcon now is sharp and passing empty.

And till she stoop she must not be full-gorg’d,

For then she never looks upon her lure.

Another way I have to man my haggard,

To make her come, and know her keeper’s call,

That is, to watch her, as we watch these kites

That bate and beat, and will not be obedient.

She eat no meat to-day, nor none shall eat;

Last night she slept not, nor to-night she shall not;

As with the meat, some undeserved fault

I’ll find about the making of the bed;

And here I’ll fling the pillow, there the bolster,

This way the coverlet, another way the sheets;

Ay, and amid this hurly I intend

That all is done in reverend care of her-

And, in conclusion, she shall watch all night;

And if she chance to nod I’ll rail and brawl

And with the clamour keep her still awake.

This is a way to kill a wife with kindness,

And thus I’ll curb her mad and headstrong humour.

He that knows better how to tame a shrew,

Now let him speak; ‘tis charity to show.

Exit

Scene II

Padua. Before Baptista’s house

Enter Tranio as Lucentio, and Hortensio as Licio

Tranio

Is ‘t possible, friend Licio, that Mistress Bianca

Doth fancy any other but Lucentio?

I tell you, sir, she bears me fair in hand.

Hortensio

Sir, to satisfy you in what I have said,

Stand by and mark the manner of his teaching. [They stand aside]

Enter Bianca, and Lucentio as Cambio

Lucentio

Now, mistress, profit you in what you read?

Bianca

What, master, read you, First resolve me that.

Lucentio

I read that I profess, ‘The Art to Love.’

Bianca

And may you prove, sir, master of your art!

Lucentio

While you, sweet dear, prove mistress of my heart. [They retire]

Hortensio

Quick proceeders, marry! Now tell me, I pray,

You that durst swear that your Mistress Blanca

Lov’d none in the world so well as Lucentio.

Tranio

O despiteful love! unconstant womankind!

I tell thee, Licio, this is wonderful.

Hortensio

Mistake no more; I am not Licio.

Nor a musician as I seem to be;

But one that scorn to live in this disguise

For such a one as leaves a gentleman

And makes a god of such a cullion.

Know, sir, that I am call’d Hortensio.

Tranio

Signior Hortensio, I have often heard

Of your entire affection to Bianca;

And since mine eyes are witness of her lightness,

I will with you, if you be so contented,

Forswear Bianca and her love for ever.

Hortensio

See, how they kiss and court! Signior Lucentio,

Here is my hand, and here I firmly vow

Never to woo her more, but do forswear her,

As one unworthy all the former favours

That I have fondly flatter’d her withal.

Tranio

And here I take the like unfeigned oath,

Never to marry with her though she would entreat;

Fie on her! See how beastly she doth court him!

Hortensio

Would all the world but he had quite forsworn!

For me, that I may surely keep mine oath,

I will be married to a wealtlly widow

Ere three days pass, which hath as long lov’d me

As I have lov’d this proud disdainful haggard.

And so farewell, Signior Lucentio.

Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks,

Shall win my love; and so I take my leave,

In resolution as I swore before.

Exit

Tranio

Mistress Bianca, bless you with such grace

As ‘longeth to a lover’s blessed case!

Nay, I have ta’en you napping, gentle love,

And have forsworn you with Hortensio.

Bianca

Tranio, you jest; but have you both forsworn me?

Tranio

Mistress, we have.

Lucentio

Then we are rid of Licio.

Tranio

I’ faith, he’ll have a lusty widow now,

That shall be woo’d and wedded in a day.

Bianca

God give him joy!

Tranio

Ay, and he’ll tame her.

Bianca

He says so, Tranio.

Tranio

Faith, he is gone unto the taming-school.

Bianca

The taming-school! What, is there such a place?

Tranio

Ay, mistress; and Petruchio is the master,

That teacheth tricks eleven and twenty long,

To tame a shrew and charm her chattering tongue.

Enter Biondello

Biondello

O master, master, have watch’d so long

That I am dog-weary; but at last I spied

An ancient angel coming down the hill

Will serve the turn.

Tranio

What is he, Biondello?

Biondello

Master, a mercatante or a pedant,

I know not what; but formal in apparel,

In gait and countenance surely like a father.

Lucentio

And what of him, Tranio?

Tranio

If he be credulous and trust my tale,

I’ll make him glad to seem Vincentio,

And give assurance to Baptista Minola

As if he were the right Vincentio.

Take in your love, and then let me alone.

Exeunt Lucentio and Bianca

Enter a Pedant

Pedant

God save you, sir!

Tranio

And you, sir; you are welcome.

Travel you far on, or are you at the farthest?

Pedant

Sir, at the farthest for a week or two;

But then up farther, and as far as Rome;

And so to Tripoli, if God lend me life.

Tranio

What countryman, I pray?

Pedant

Of Mantua.

Tranio

Of Mantua, sir? Marry, God forbid,

And come to Padua, careless of your life!

Pedant

My life, sir! How, I pray? For that goes hard.

Tranio

‘Tis death for any one in Mantua

To come to Padua. Know you not the cause?

Your ships are stay’d at Venice; and the Duke,

For private quarrel ‘twixt your Duke and him,

Hath publish’d and proclaim’d it openly.

‘Tis marvel- but that you are but newly come,

You might have heard it else proclaim’d about.

Pedant

Alas, sir, it is worse for me than so!

For I have bills for money by exchange

From Florence, and must here deliver them.

Tranio

Well, sir, to do you courtesy,

This will I do, and this I will advise you-

First, tell me, have you ever been at Pisa?

Pedant

Ay, sir, in Pisa have I often been,

Pisa renowned for grave citizens.

Tranio

Among them know you one Vincentio?

Pedant

I know him not, but I have heard of him,

A merchant of incomparable wealth.

Tranio

He is my father, sir; and, sooth to say,

In count’nance somewhat doth resemble you.

Biondello

[Aside] As much as an apple doth an oyster, and all one.

Tranio

To save your life in this extremity,

This favour will I do you for his sake;

And think it not the worst of all your fortunes

That you are like to Sir Vincentio.

His name and credit shall you undertake,

And in my house you shall be friendly lodg’d;

Look that you take upon you as you should.

You understand me, sir. So shall you stay

Till you have done your business in the city.

If this be court’sy, sir, accept of it.

Pedant

O, sir, I do; and will repute you ever

The patron of my life and liberty.

Tranio

Then go with me to make the matter good.

This, by the way, I let you understand:

My father is here look’d for every day

To pass assurance of a dow’r in marriage

‘Twixt me and one Baptista’s daughter here.

In all these circumstances I’ll instruct you.

Go with me to clothe you as becomes you.

Exeunt

Scene III

Petruchio’s house

Enter Katherina and Grumio

Grumio

No, no, forsooth; I dare not for my life.

Katherina

The more my wrong, the more his spite appears.

What, did he marry me to famish me?

Beggars that come unto my father’s door

Upon entreaty have a present alms;

If not, elsewhere they meet with charity;

But I, who never knew how to entreat,

Nor never needed that I should entreat,

Am starv’d for meat, giddy for lack of sleep;

With oaths kept waking, and with brawling fed;

And that which spites me more than all these wants-

He does it under name of perfect love;

As who should say, if I should sleep or eat,

‘Twere deadly sickness or else present death.

I prithee go and get me some repast;

I care not what, so it be wholesome food.

Grumio

What say you to a neat’s foot?

Katherina

‘Tis passing good; I prithee let me have it.

Grumio

I fear it is too choleric a meat.

How say you to a fat tripe finely broil’d?

Katherina

I like it well; good Grumio, fetch it me.

Grumio

I cannot tell; I fear ‘tis choleric.

What say you to a piece of beef and mustard?

Katherina

A dish that I do love to feed upon.

Grumio

Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little.

Katherina

Why then the beef, and let the mustard rest.

Grumio

Nay, then I will not; you shall have the mustard,

Or else you get no beef of Grumio.

Katherina

Then both, or one, or anything thou wilt.

Grumio

Why then the mustard without the beef.

Katherina

Go, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave, [Beats him]

That feed’st me with the very name of meat.

Sorrow on thee and all the pack of you

That triumph thus upon my misery!

Go, get thee gone, I say.

Enter Petruchio, and Hortensio with meat

Petruchio

How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?

Hortensio

Mistress, what cheer?

Katherina

Faith, as cold as can be.

Petruchio

Pluck up thy spirits, look cheerfully upon me.

Here, love, thou seest how diligent I am,

To dress thy meat myself, and bring it thee.

I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.

What, not a word? Nay, then thou lov’st it not,

And all my pains is sorted to no proof.

Here, take away this dish.

Katherina

I pray you, let it stand.

Petruchio

The poorest service is repaid with thanks;

And so shall mine, before you touch the meat.

Katherina

I thank you, sir.

Hortensio

Signior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame.

Come, Mistress Kate, I’ll bear you company.

Petruchio

[Aside] Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lovest me-

Much good do it unto thy gentle heart!

Kate, eat apace. And now, my honey love,

Will we return unto thy father’s house

And revel it as bravely as the best,

With silken coats and caps, and golden rings,

With ruffs and cuffs and farthingales and things,

With scarfs and fans and double change of brav’ry.

With amber bracelets, beads, and all this knav’ry.

What, hast thou din’d? The tailor stays thy leisure,

To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.

Enter Tailor

Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments;

Lay forth the gown.

Enter Haberdasher

What news with you, sir?

Haberdasher

Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.

Petruchio

Why, this was moulded on a porringer;

A velvet dish. Fie, fie! ‘tis lewd and filthy;

Why, ‘tis a cockle or a walnut-shell,

A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby’s cap.

Away with it. Come, let me have a bigger.

Katherina

I’ll have no bigger; this doth fit the time,

And gentlewomen wear such caps as these.

Petruchio

When you are gentle, you shall have one too,

And not till then.

Hortensio

[Aside] That will not be in haste.

Katherina

Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak;

And speak I will. I am no child, no babe.

Your betters have endur’d me say my mind,

And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.

My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,

Or else my heart, concealing it, will break;

And rather than it shall, I will be free

Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.

Petruchio

Why, thou say’st true; it is a paltry cap,

A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie;

I love thee well in that thou lik’st it not.

Katherina

Love me or love me not, I like the cap;

And it I will have, or I will have none.

Exit Haberdasher

Petruchio

Thy gown? Why, ay. Come, tailor, let us see’t.

O mercy, God! what masquing stuff is here?

What’s this? A sleeve? ‘Tis like a demi-cannon.

What, up and down, carv’d like an appletart?

Here’s snip and nip and cut and slish and slash,

Like to a censer in a barber’s shop.

Why, what a devil’s name, tailor, call’st thou this?

Hortensio

[Aside] I see she’s like to have neither cap nor gown.

Tailor

You bid me make it orderly and well,

According to the fashion and the time.

Petruchio

Marry, and did; but if you be rememb’red,

I did not bid you mar it to the time.

Go, hop me over every kennel home,

For you shall hop without my custom, sir.

I’ll none of it; hence! make your best of it.

Katherina

I never saw a better fashion’d gown,

More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable;

Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.

Petruchio

Why, true; he means to make a puppet of thee.

Tailor

She says your worship means to make a puppet of her.

Petruchio

O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread, thou thimble,

Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail,

Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou-

Brav’d in mine own house with a skein of thread!

Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant;

Or I shall so bemete thee with thy yard

As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou liv’st!

I tell thee, I, that thou hast marr’d her gown.

Tailor

Your worship is deceiv’d; the gown is made

Just as my master had direction.

Grumio gave order how it should be done.

Grumio

I gave him no order; I gave him the stuff.

Tailor

But how did you desire it should be made?

Grumio

Marry, sir, with needle and thread.

Tailor

But did you not request to have it cut?

Grumio

Thou hast fac’d many things.

Tailor

I have.

Grumio

Face not me. Thou hast brav’d many men; brave not me. I will neither be fac’d nor brav’d. I say unto thee, I bid thy master cut out the gown; but I did not bid him cut it to pieces.

Ergo, thou liest.

Tailor

Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify.

Petruchio

Read it.

Grumio

The note lies in’s throat, if he say I said so.

Tailor

[Reads] ‘Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown’-

Grumio

Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in the skirts of it and beat me to death with a bottom of brown bread; I said a gown.

Petruchio

Proceed.

Tailor

[Reads] ‘With a small compass’d cape’-

Grumio

I confess the cape.

Tailor

[Reads] ‘With a trunk sleeve’-

Grumio

I confess two sleeves.

Tailor

[Reads] ‘The sleeves curiously cut.’

Petruchio

Ay, there’s the villainy.

Grumio

Error i’ th’ bill, sir; error i’ th’ bill! I commanded the sleeves should be cut out, and sew’d up again; and that I’ll prove upon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a thimble.

Tailor

This is true that I say; an I had thee in place where, thou shouldst know it.

Grumio

I am for thee straight; take thou the bill, give me thy meteyard, and spare not me.

Hortensio

God-a-mercy, Grumio! Then he shall have no odds.

Petruchio

Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me.

Grumio

You are i’ th’ right, sir; ‘tis for my mistress.

Petruchio

Go, take it up unto thy master’s use.

Grumio

Villain, not for thy life! Take up my mistress’ gown for thy master’s use!

Petruchio

Why, sir, what’s your conceit in that?

Grumio

O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for.

Take up my mistress’ gown to his master’s use!

O fie, fie, fie!

Petruchio

[Aside] Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid.-

Go take it hence; be gone, and say no more.

Hortensio

Tailor, I’ll pay thee for thy gown to-morrow;

Take no unkindness of his hasty words.

Away, I say; commend me to thy master.

Exit Tailor

Petruchio

Well, come, my Kate; we will unto your father’s

Even in these honest mean habiliments;

Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor;

For ‘tis the mind that makes the body rich;

And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,

So honour peereth in the meanest habit.

What, is the jay more precious than the lark

Because his feathers are more beautiful?

Or is the adder better than the eel

Because his painted skin contents the eye?

O no, good Kate; neither art thou the worse

For this poor furniture and mean array.

If thou account’st it shame, lay it on me;

And therefore frolic; we will hence forthwith

To feast and sport us at thy father’s house.

Go call my men, and let us straight to him;

And bring our horses unto Long-lane end;

There will we mount, and thither walk on foot.

Let’s see; I think ‘tis now some seven o’clock,

And well we may come there by dinner-time.

Katherina

I dare assure you, sir, ‘tis almost two,

And ‘twill be supper-time ere you come there.

Petruchio

It shall be seven ere I go to horse.

Look what I speak, or do, or think to do,

You are still crossing it. Sirs, let ‘t alone;

I will not go to-day; and ere I do,

It shall be what o’clock I say it is.

Hortensio

Why, so this gallant will command the sun.

Exeunt

Scene IV

Padua. Before Baptista’s house

Enter Tranio as Lucentio, and the Pedant dressed like Vincentio

Tranio

Sir, this is the house; please it you that I call?

Pedant

Ay, what else? And, but I be deceived,

Signior Baptista may remember me

Near twenty years ago in Genoa,

Where we were lodgers at the Pegasus.

Tranio

‘Tis well; and hold your own, in any case,

With such austerity as longeth to a father.

Enter Biondello

Pedant

I warrant you. But, sir, here comes your boy;

‘Twere good he were school’d.

Tranio

Fear you not him. Sirrah Biondello,

Now do your duty throughly, I advise you.

Imagine ‘twere the right Vincentio.

Biondello

Tut, fear not me.

Tranio

But hast thou done thy errand to Baptista?

Biondello

I told him that your father was at Venice,

And that you look’d for him this day in Padua.

Tranio

Th’art a tall fellow; hold thee that to drink.

Here comes Baptista. Set your countenance, sir.

Enter Baptista, and Lucentio as Cambio

Signior Baptista, you are happily met.

[To the Pedant] Sir, this is the gentleman I told you of;

I pray you stand good father to me now;

Give me Bianca for my patrimony.

Pedant

Soft, son!

Sir, by your leave: having come to Padua

To gather in some debts, my son Lucentio

Made me acquainted with a weighty cause

Of love between your daughter and himself;

And- for the good report I hear of you,

And for the love he beareth to your daughter,

And she to him- to stay him not too long,

I am content, in a good father’s care,

To have him match’d; and, if you please to like

No worse than I, upon some agreement

Me shall you find ready and willing

With one consent to have her so bestow’d;

For curious I cannot be with you,

Signior Baptista, of whom I hear so well.

Baptista

Sir, pardon me in what I have to say.

Your plainness and your shortness please me well.

Right true it is your son Lucentio here

Doth love my daughter, and she loveth him,

Or both dissemble deeply their affections;

And therefore, if you say no more than this,

That like a father you will deal with him,

And pass my daughter a sufficient dower,

The match is made, and all is done-

Your son shall have my daughter with consent.

Tranio

I thank you, sir. Where then do you know best

We be affied, and such assurance ta’en

As shall with either part’s agreement stand?

Baptista

Not in my house, Lucentio, for you know

Pitchers have ears, and I have many servants;

Besides, old Gremio is heark’ning still,

And happily we might be interrupted.

Tranio

Then at my lodging, an it like you.

There doth my father lie; and there this night

We’ll pass the business privately and well.

Send for your daughter by your servant here;

My boy shall fetch the scrivener presently.

The worst is this, that at so slender warning

You are like to have a thin and slender pittance.

Baptista

It likes me well. Cambio, hie you home,

And bid Bianca make her ready straight;

And, if you will, tell what hath happened-

Lucentio’s father is arriv’d in Padua,

And how she’s like to be Lucentio’s wife.

Exit Lucentio

Biondello

I pray the gods she may, with all my heart.

Tranio

Dally not with the gods, but get thee gone.

Exit Biondello

Signior Baptista, shall I lead the way?

Welcome! One mess is like to be your cheer;

Come, sir; we will better it in Pisa.

Baptista

I follow you.

Exeunt

Re-enter Lucentio as Cambio, and Biondello

Biondello

Cambio.

Lucentio

What say’st thou, Biondello?

Biondello

You saw my master wink and laugh upon you?

Lucentio

Biondello, what of that?

Biondello

Faith, nothing; but has left me here behind to expound the meaning or moral of his signs and tokens.

Lucentio

I pray thee moralize them.

Biondello

Then thus: Baptista is safe, talking with the deceiving father of a deceitful son.

Lucentio

And what of him?

Biondello

His daughter is to be brought by you to the supper.

Lucentio

And then?

Biondello

The old priest at Saint Luke’s church is at your command at all hours.

Lucentio

And what of all this?

Biondello

I cannot tell, except they are busied about a counterfeit assurance. Take your assurance of her, cum privilegio ad imprimendum solum; to th’ church take the priest, clerk, and some sufficient honest witnesses.

If this be not that you look for, I have more to say,

But bid Bianca farewell for ever and a day.

Lucentio

Hear’st thou, Biondello?

Biondello

I cannot tarry. I knew a wench married in an afternoon as she went to the garden for parsley to stuff a rabbit; and so may you, sir; and so adieu, sir. My master hath appointed me to go to Saint Luke’s to bid the priest be ready to come against you come with your appendix.

Exit

Lucentio

I may and will, if she be so contented.

She will be pleas’d; then wherefore should I doubt?

Hap what hap may, I’ll roundly go about her;

It shall go hard if Cambio go without her.

Exit

Scene V

A public road

Enter Petruchio, Katherina, Hortensio, and Servants

Petruchio

Come on, a God’s name; once more toward our father’s.

Good Lord, how bright and goodly shines the moon!

Katherina

The moon? The sun! It is not moonlight now.

Petruchio

I say it is the moon that shines so bright.

Katherina

I know it is the sun that shines so bright.

Petruchio

Now by my mother’s son, and that’s myself,

It shall be moon, or star, or what I list,

Or ere I journey to your father’s house.

Go on and fetch our horses back again.

Evermore cross’d and cross’d; nothing but cross’d!

Hortensio

Say as he says, or we shall never go.

Katherina

Forward, I pray, since we have come so far,

And be it moon, or sun, or what you please;

And if you please to call it a rush-candle,

Henceforth I vow it shall be so for me.

Petruchio

I say it is the moon.

Katherina

I know it is the moon.

Petruchio

Nay, then you lie; it is the blessed sun.

Katherina

Then, God be bless’d, it is the blessed sun;

But sun it is not, when you say it is not;

And the moon changes even as your mind.

What you will have it nam’d, even that it is,

And so it shall be so for Katherine.

Hortensio

Petruchio, go thy ways, the field is won.

Petruchio

Well, forward, forward! thus the bowl should run,

And not unluckily against the bias.

But, soft! Company is coming here.

Enter Vincentio

[To Vincentio] Good-morrow, gentle mistress; where away?-

Tell me, sweet Kate, and tell me truly too,

Hast thou beheld a fresher gentlewoman?

Such war of white and red within her cheeks!

What stars do spangle heaven with such beauty

As those two eyes become that heavenly face?

Fair lovely maid, once more good day to thee.

Sweet Kate, embrace her for her beauty’s sake.

Hortensio

‘A will make the man mad, to make a woman of him.

Katherina

Young budding virgin, fair and fresh and sweet,

Whither away, or where is thy abode?

Happy the parents of so fair a child;

Happier the man whom favourable stars

Allots thee for his lovely bed-fellow.

Petruchio

Why, how now, Kate, I hope thou art not mad!

This is a man, old, wrinkled, faded, withered,

And not a maiden, as thou sayst he is.

Katherina

Pardon, old father, my mistaking eyes,

That have been so bedazzled with the sun

That everything I look on seemeth green;

Now I perceive thou art a reverend father.

Pardon, I pray thee, for my mad mistaking.

Petruchio

Do, good old grandsire, and withal make known

Which way thou travellest- if along with us,

We shall be joyful of thy company.

Vincentio

Fair sir, and you my merry mistress,

That with your strange encounter much amaz’d me,

My name is call’d Vincentio, my dwelling Pisa,

And bound I am to Padua, there to visit

A son of mine, which long I have not seen.

Petruchio

What is his name?

Vincentio

Lucentio, gentle sir.

Petruchio

Happily met; the happier for thy son.

And now by law, as well as reverend age,

I may entitle thee my loving father:

The sister to my wife, this gentlewoman,

Thy son by this hath married. Wonder not,

Nor be not grieved- she is of good esteem,

Her dowry wealthy, and of worthy birth;

Beside, so qualified as may beseem

The spouse of any noble gentleman.

Let me embrace with old Vincentio;

And wander we to see thy honest son,

Who will of thy arrival be full joyous.

Vincentio

But is this true; or is it else your pleasure,

Like pleasant travellers, to break a jest

Upon the company you overtake?

Hortensio

I do assure thee, father, so it is.

Petruchio

Come, go along, and see the truth hereof;

For our first merriment hath made thee jealous.

Exeunt all but Hortensio

Hortensio

Well, Petruchio, this has put me in heart.

Have to my widow; and if she be froward,

Then hast thou taught Hortensio to be untoward.

Exit

Act V

Scene I

Padua. Before Lucentio’s house

Enter Biondello, Lucentio, and Bianca; Gremio is out before

Biondello

Softly and swiftly, sir, for the priest is ready.

Lucentio

I fly, Biondello; but they may chance to need the at home, therefore leave us.

Biondello

Nay, faith, I’ll see the church a your back, and then come back to my master’s as soon as I can.

Exeunt Lucentio, Bianca, and Biondello

Gremio

I marvel Cambio comes not all this while.

Enter Petruchio, Katherina, Vincentio, Grumio and Attendants

Petruchio

Sir, here’s the door; this is Lucentio’s house;

My father’s bears more toward the market-place;

Thither must I, and here I leave you, sir.

Vincentio

You shall not choose but drink before you go;

I think I shall command your welcome here,

And by all likelihood some cheer is toward. [Knocks]

Gremio

They’re busy within; you were best knock louder. [Pedant looks out of the window]

Pedant

What’s he that knocks as he would beat down the gate?

Vincentio

Is Signior Lucentio within, sir?

Pedant

He’s within, sir, but not to be spoken withal.

Vincentio

What if a man bring him a hundred pound or two to make merry withal?

Pedant

Keep your hundred pounds to yourself; he shall need none so long as I live.

Petruchio

Nay, I told you your son was well beloved in Padua. Do you hear, sir? To leave frivolous circumstances, I pray you tell

Signior Lucentio that his father is come from Pisa, and is here at the door to speak with him.

Pedant

Thou liest: his father is come from Padua, and here looking out at the window.

Vincentio

Art thou his father?

Pedant

Ay, sir; so his mother says, if I may believe her.

Petruchio

[To Vincentio] Why, how now, gentleman!

Why, this is flat knavery to take upon you another man’s name.

Pedant

Lay hands on the villain; I believe ‘a means to cozen somebody in this city under my countenance.

Re-enter Biondello

Biondello

I have seen them in the church together. God send ‘em good shipping! But who is here? Mine old master, Vicentio! Now we are undone and brought to nothing.

Vincentio

[Seeing Biondello] Come hither, crack-hemp.

Biondello

I hope I may choose, sir.

Vincentio

Come hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?

Biondello

Forgot you! No, sir. I could not forget you, for I never saw you before in all my life.

Vincentio

What, you notorious villain, didst thou never see thy master’s father, Vincentio?

Biondello

What, my old worshipful old master? Yes, marry, sir; see where he looks out of the window.

Vincentio

Is’t so, indeed? [He beats Biondello]

Biondello

Help, help, help! Here’s a madman will murder me.

Exit

Pedant

Help, son! help, Signior Baptista!

Exit from above

Petruchio

Prithee, Kate, let’s stand aside and see the end of this controversy. [They stand aside]

Re-enter Pedant below; Baptista, Tranio, and Servants

Tranio

Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?

Vincentio

What am I, sir? Nay, what are you, sir? O immortal gods!

O fine villain! A silken doublet, a velvet hose, a scarlet cloak, and a copatain hat! O, I am undone! I am undone! While I play the good husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at the university.

Tranio

How now! what’s the matter?

Baptista

What, is the man lunatic?

Tranio

Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your habit, but your words show you a madman. Why, sir, what ‘cerns it you if I wear pearl and gold? I thank my good father, I am able to maintain it.

Vincentio

Thy father! O villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.

Baptista

You mistake, sir; you mistake, sir. Pray, what do you think is his name?

Vincentio

His name! As if I knew not his name! I have brought him up ever since he was three years old, and his name is Tranio.

Pedant

Away, away, mad ass! His name is Lucentio; and he is mine only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vicentio.

Vincentio

Lucentio! O, he hath murd’red his master! Lay hold on him, I charge you, in the Duke’s name. O, my son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son, Lucentio?

Tranio

Call forth an officer.

Enter one with an Officer

Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista, I charge you see that he be forthcoming.

Vincentio

Carry me to the gaol!

Gremio

Stay, Officer; he shall not go to prison.

Baptista

Talk not, Signior Gremio; I say he shall go to prison.

Gremio

Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be cony-catch’d in this business; I dare swear this is the right Vincentio.

Pedant

Swear if thou dar’st.

Gremio

Nay, I dare not swear it.

Tranio

Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.

Gremio

Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.

Baptista

Away with the dotard; to the gaol with him!

Vincentio

Thus strangers may be hal’d and abus’d. O monstrous villain!

Re-enter Biondello, with Lucentio and Bianca

Biondello

O, we are spoil’d; and yonder he is! Deny him, forswear him, or else we are all undone.

Exeunt Biondello, Tranio, and Pedant, as fast as may be

Lucentio

[Kneeling] Pardon, sweet father.

Vincentio

Lives my sweet son?

Bianca

Pardon, dear father.

Baptista

How hast thou offended?

Where is Lucentio?

Lucentio

Here’s Lucentio,

Right son to the right Vincentio,

That have by marriage made thy daughter mine,

While counterfeit supposes blear’d thine eyne.

Gremio

Here’s packing, with a witness, to deceive us all!

Vincentio

Where is that damned villain, Tranio,

That fac’d and brav’d me in this matter so?

Baptista

Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?

Bianca

Cambio is chang’d into Lucentio.

Lucentio

Love wrought these miracles. Bianca’s love

Made me exchange my state with Tranio,

While he did bear my countenance in the town;

And happily I have arrived at the last

Unto the wished haven of my bliss.

What Tranio did, myself enforc’d him to;

Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.

Vincentio

I’ll slit the villain’s nose that would have sent me to the gaol.

Baptista

[To Lucentio] But do you hear, sir? Have you married my daughter without asking my good will?

Vincentio

Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to; but I will in to be revenged for this villainy.

Exit

Baptista

And I to sound the depth of this knavery.

Exit

Lucentio

Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.

Exeunt Lucentio and Bianca

Gremio

My cake is dough, but I’ll in among the rest;

Out of hope of all but my share of the feast.

Exit

Katherina

Husband, let’s follow to see the end of this ado.

Petruchio

First kiss me, Kate, and we will.

Katherina

What, in the midst of the street?

Petruchio

What, art thou asham’d of me?

Katherina

No, sir; God forbid; but asham’d to kiss.

Petruchio

Why, then, let’s home again. Come, sirrah, let’s away.

Katherina

Nay, I will give thee a kiss; now pray thee, love, stay.

Petruchio

Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate:

Better once than never, for never too late.

Exeunt

Scene II

Lucentio’s house

Enter Baptista, Vincentio, Gremio, the Pedant, Lucentio, Bianca, Petruchio, Katherina, Hortensio, and Widow. The Servingmen with Tranio, Biondello, and Grumio,bringing in a banquet

Lucentio

At last, though long, our jarring notes agree;

And time it is when raging war is done

To smile at scapes and perils overblown.

My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome,

While I with self-same kindness welcome thine.

Brother Petruchio, sister Katherina,

And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow,

Feast with the best, and welcome to my house.

My banquet is to close our stomachs up

After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down;

For now we sit to chat as well as eat. [They sit]

Petruchio

Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!

Baptista

Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.

Petruchio

Padua affords nothing but what is kind.

Hortensio

For both our sakes I would that word were true.

Petruchio

Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.

Widow

Then never trust me if I be afeard.

Petruchio

You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense:

I mean Hortensio is afeard of you.

Widow

He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

Petruchio

Roundly replied.

Katherina

Mistress, how mean you that?

Widow

Thus I conceive by him.

Petruchio

Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?

Hortensio

My widow says thus she conceives her tale.

Petruchio

Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.

Katherina

‘He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.’

I pray you tell me what you meant by that.

Widow

Your husband, being troubled with a shrew,

Measures my husband’s sorrow by his woe;

And now you know my meaning.

Katherina

A very mean meaning.

Widow

Right, I mean you.

Katherina

And I am mean, indeed, respecting you.

Petruchio

To her, Kate!

Hortensio

To her, widow!

Petruchio

A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.

Hortensio

That’s my office.

Petruchio

Spoke like an officer- ha’ to thee, lad. [Drinks to Hortensio]

Baptista

How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?

Gremio

Believe me, sir, they butt together well.

Bianca

Head and butt! An hasty-witted body

Would say your head and butt were head and horn.

Vincentio

Ay, mistress bride, hath that awakened you?

Bianca

Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I’ll sleep again.

Petruchio

Nay, that you shall not; since you have begun,

Have at you for a bitter jest or two.

Bianca

Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush,

And then pursue me as you draw your bow.

You are welcome all.

Exeunt Bianca, Katherina, and Widow

Petruchio

She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio,

This bird you aim’d at, though you hit her not;

Therefore a health to all that shot and miss’d.

Tranio

O, sir, Lucentio slipp’d me like his greyhound,

Which runs himself, and catches for his master.

Petruchio

A good swift simile, but something currish.

Tranio

‘Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself;

‘Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.

Baptista

O, O, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.

Lucentio

I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.

Hortensio

Confess, confess; hath he not hit you here?

Petruchio

‘A has a little gall’d me, I confess;

And, as the jest did glance away from me,

‘Tis ten to one it maim’d you two outright.

Baptista

Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio,

I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.

Petruchio

Well, I say no; and therefore, for assurance,

Let’s each one send unto his wife,

And he whose wife is most obedient,

To come at first when he doth send for her,

Shall win the wager which we will propose.

Hortensio

Content. What’s the wager?

Lucentio

Twenty crowns.

Petruchio

Twenty crowns?

I’ll venture so much of my hawk or hound,

But twenty times so much upon my wife.

Lucentio

A hundred then.

Hortensio

Content.

Petruchio

A match! ‘tis done.

Hortensio

Who shall begin?

Lucentio

That will I.

Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me.

Biondello

I go.

Exit

Baptista

Son, I’ll be your half Bianca comes.

Lucentio

I’ll have no halves; I’ll bear it all myself.

Re-enter Biondello

How now! what news?

Biondello

Sir, my mistress sends you word

That she is busy and she cannot come.

Petruchio

How! She’s busy, and she cannot come!

Is that an answer?

Gremio

Ay, and a kind one too.

Pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse.

Petruchio

I hope better.

Hortensio

Sirrah Biondello, go and entreat my wife

To come to me forthwith. Exit Biondello

Petruchio

O, ho! entreat her!

Nay, then she must needs come.

Hortensio

I am afraid, sir,

Do what you can, yours will not be entreated.

Re-enter Biondello

Now, where’s my wife?

Biondello

She says you have some goodly jest in hand:

She will not come; she bids you come to her.

Petruchio

Worse and worse; she will not come! O vile,

Intolerable, not to be endur’d!

Sirrah Grumio, go to your mistress;

Say I command her come to me.

Exit Grumio

Hortensio

I know her answer.

Petruchio

What?

Hortensio

She will not.

Petruchio

The fouler fortune mine, and there an end.

Re-enter Katherina

Baptista

Now, by my holidame, here comes Katherina!

Katherina

What is your sir, that you send for me?

Petruchio

Where is your sister, and Hortensio’s wife?

Katherina

They sit conferring by the parlour fire.

Petruchio

Go, fetch them hither; if they deny to come.

Swinge me them soundly forth unto their husbands.

Away, I say, and bring them hither straight.

Exit Katherina

Lucentio

Here is a wonder, if you talk of a wonder.

Hortensio

And so it is. I wonder what it bodes.

Petruchio

Marry, peace it bodes, and love, and quiet life,

An awful rule, and right supremacy;

And, to be short, what not that’s sweet and happy.

Baptista

Now fair befall thee, good Petruchio!

The wager thou hast won; and I will ad

Unto their losses twenty thousand crowns;

Another dowry to another daughter,

For she is chang’d, as she had never been.

Petruchio

Nay, I will win my wager better yet,

And show more sign of her obedience,

Her new-built virtue and obedience.

Re-enter Katherina with Bianca and Widow

See where she comes, and brings your froward wives

As prisoners to her womanly persuasion.

Katherine, that cap of yours becomes you not:

Off with that bauble, throw it underfoot. [Katherina complies]

Widow

Lord, let me never have a cause to sigh

Till I be brought to such a silly pass!

Bianca

Fie! what a foolish duty call you this?

Lucentio

I would your duty were as foolish too;

The wisdom of your duty, fair Bianca,

Hath cost me a hundred crowns since supper-time!

Bianca

The more fool you for laying on my duty.

Petruchio

Katherine, I charge thee, tell these headstrong women

What duty they do owe their lords and husbands.

Widow

Come, come, you’re mocking; we will have no telling.

Petruchio

Come on, I say; and first begin with her.

Widow

She shall not.

Petruchio

I say she shall. And first begin with her.

Katherina

Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow,

And dart not scornful glances from those eyes

To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor.

It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,

Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,

And in no sense is meet or amiable.

A woman mov’d is like a fountain troubled-

Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty;

And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty

Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.

Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,

Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee,

And for thy maintenance commits his body

To painful labour both by sea and land,

To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,

Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe;

And craves no other tribute at thy hands

But love, fair looks, and true obedience-

Too little payment for so great a debt.

Such duty as the subject owes the prince,

Even such a woman oweth to her husband;

And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,

And not obedient to his honest will,

What is she but a foul contending rebel

And graceless traitor to her loving lord?

I am asham’d that women are so simple

To offer war where they should kneel for peace;

Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway,

When they are bound to serve, love, and obey.

Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,

Unapt to toll and trouble in the world,

But that our soft conditions and our hearts

Should well agree with our external parts?

Come, come, you froward and unable worins!

My mind hath been as big as one of yours,

My heart as great, my reason haply more,

To bandy word for word and frown for frown;

But now I see our lances are but straws,

Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,

That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.

Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,

And place your hands below your husband’s foot;

In token of which duty, if he please,

My hand is ready, may it do him ease.

Petruchio

Why, there’s a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate.

Lucentio

Well, go thy ways, old lad, for thou shalt ha’t.

Vincentio

‘Tis a good hearing when children are toward.

Lucentio

But a harsh hearing when women are froward.

Petruchio

Come, Kate, we’ll to bed.

We three are married, but you two are sped.

[To Lucentio] ‘Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white;

And being a winner, God give you good night!

Exeunt Petruchio and Katherina

Hortensio

Now go thy ways; thou hast tam’d a curst shrow.

Lucentio

‘Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be tam’d so.

Exeunt

-The End-